Post to Wire: Ian Thorpe
Ian Thorpe has long been a polarising figure, at least for those who read Making The Nut. Today, feature writer Tim Napper and website editor Nick Tedeschi discuss Thorpe and his possible defection to Switzerland for tax purposes.
Nick Tedeschi: Welcome to your first Post To Wire, Napper. Let’s get right into it. Napper, why is Ian Thorpe defecting? This supposed Australian sporting icon, who selfishly retired to make himself a star, is back in the pool but he could be racing for Switzerland in 2012. What is that about? The last time I checked, Thorpe was a miserable failure as a television star. When I ran into him last, he was doing some show at Star City in what was a very depressing scene. You don’t usually need a tax break for that. What is he doing going to Switzerland, Nap?
Tim Napper: He’s not quite ‘defecting’ as such: he will apparently still swim for Australia. However, newspaper reports say that he is considering getting dual citizenship with Switzerland for tax purposes. Apparently the tax rate in Switzerland is around 10 per cent. The first response to this report is clear: It’s a disgrace. The average punter has a mortgage, is facing rising cost of living prices and pays 35% tax on their income. This preening millionaire has figured that suckling off the teat of public sponsorship (through the Australian Institute of Sport) and endorsements contracts from Australian companies is not enough, now he wants to dodge (or ‘minimise’ as an accountant or billionaires would say) his tax obligations as well.
Well, this is what I think: Thorpe should not get half Swiss citizenship; he should get full French citizenship. He should move there, eat baguettes and Duck à l'Orange, and slowly turn to a tubby, beret wearing dole bludger. France is, after all, the home of the quitter and the land of those with a sense of entitlement. He should lead a parade every year down the Champs-Élysées, waving a white flag, walking backwards away from any sense of purpose or personal responsibility.
Speaking of the Champs-Élysées Punter, how would you compare him to Cadel Evans?
Nick Tedeschi: Napper, if Cadel Evans is Santa Claus, Ian Thorpe is that junkie who hits you up for $20 while you are trying to enjoy your lamb shoulder at a civilised diner. The gulf between the two is immense. Evans is a national sporting hero, dedicated to his craft, a true warrior, a legend who achieved arguably the greatest sporting realisation Australia has ever known. Thorpe is a quitter who has sucked Australia dry and now doesn't want to pay his dues like the rest of us.
In his day, the guy could swim. But that wasn't enough so he called it quits to become a big television star. How did that work out? Is Thorpie's Angels still on the air Napper? Is he still making a splash on Australia's Next Top Model?
And I'm not sure about millionaire anymore mate. I wouldn't be surprised if he has blown it all and like a punch-drunk fighter, is back in the ring for a final payday.
Tim Napper:I think you’re right about the money – word on the street is he blew a lot of it on designing underpants and jewellery for his failed fashion line. Although you wonder how it was possible to spend the rest of it – for many years he was the most marketable sports person in Australia. Is hair product really that expensive?
Cadel Evans is like the anti-Thorpe. He kept going when people said he was getting too old (at 34), and achieved the greatest prize in cycling, whereas Thorpe quit with many good years left in him (at 24). Evans showed he had the heart of a giant when he picked himself up off the mat after two close second places in the Tour de France and a series of injuries; while Thorpe showed he had the heart of a caraway seed when lay down and said that the Olympic dream was just too much hard work. While Thorpe became an ambassador for Armani (and actually served as the one of the ambassadors for New York City’s bid for the 2012 Olympics), Evans become an ambassador to the whole world for Australian sport.
So what is the word on Thorpie’s belated bid for relevance and cash? Is he going to make the cut for London?
Nick Tedeschi: The word on Thorpie's bid for relevance is that he has none and is destined to wallow in the dusty pages of the history books as an athlete whose potential never actualised into real greatness, whose natural ability never matched his want, whose goals were more selfish than altruistic. I doubt very much whether Ian Thorpe misses the cut and thrust of competitive swimming. For mine, he simply misses the adulation, the fame, the riches, the relevance.
I don't believe in this whole notion of legacy. As I said when Brett Favre retired, came back, retired, came back and retired again, an athlete has the right to play on as long as they want. They have a limited life span in terms of athleticism and if they want to stick with it, go ahead.
But that kind of thing is earned. It is earned by athletes like Cadel Evans, Darren Lockyer, Favre, ones who have reached the top and given their all and want to continue on just that little bit longer. They have earned such grace. It is not for quitters who gave up the ghost early to pursue a new fortune and then realise they ain't much chop at that.
I personally think he will qualify for a relay spot. And it will be a great injustice for a young up-and-comer.
What do you reckon?
Tim Napper: To be honest, I don’t give a shit. I won’t be watching if he swims and if he ekes out a Bronze riding the rippling wake of three better relay swimmers from Australia, my utter indifference to the achievement could not be any more profound.
But I do believe in legacy. Favre had a full career – close to 20 years – before he quit and this is what he’ll be remembered for. And if he came back, well, it’s because he couldn’t let a game go that he loved.
Thorpie had half a career; the beginnings of a great one. But that is all. And if he had a positive legacy, it’s been smashed to bits by everything he’s done since. The whole issue with Swiss citizenship represents for me the side of professional sports I really detest: those who would sell off their code (like League) or their country for the almighty dollar. That, and the quitting, goes right to a question of character.
Sure, he’ll always be loved and defended by some,those stuck and the past and those who’d forgive him and Sonny Bill Williams and their ilk the right to earn a buck. But when you swim for your country you buy into something bigger than yourself, something that Thorpie never understood. It may be naive, but loyalty to team, code and country, and to play for the love of the sport; well, I still think these things should matter.
They don’t matter to Ian Thorpe. I hope he misses the cut. I hope he gets his Swiss citizenship and moves there. I hope learns to speak French and bake his own croissants and buys a nice little cottage in the Alps. And I hope, 20 years from now as he sits in his poorly designed ‘Thorpie’ underwear, eating fromage and googling himself on the internet, he sits back and thinks: “fuck me – I really blew it”.
Photo by Brendon Thorne/Getty Images AsiaPac
