Season 2010: Round 21

From The Couch

The Rugby Delusion: John O’Neill is mad. He has seemingly lost his mind. On Offsiders on Sunday morning, O’Neill claimed that the ARU had done research after Melbourne Storm games asking why people went to Storm games. He went on to say that the majority stated it was because there was no rugby union in Melbourne and then stated he was confident that the Rebels would surpass the Storm soon.

I have not missed more than three Storm home matches over the last three seasons. On not one occasion has anybody from the ARU surveyed me, nor have I witnessed a single person conducting a survey before or after Storm matches. The majority of Storm fans are die-hard rugby league people. There will be some crossover to the Rebels but there is absolutely no doubt that the majority of those who attend Storm games are Storm fans and rugby league lovers. John O’Neill is a liar. Worse, he is a liar who has managed to marginalise an already marginalised sport further after being driven out of soccer for his cheap politicking and failure to achieve anything substantive. John O’Neill, you have a filthy whore mouth that spreads lies and disease throughout Australia.

As a rugby league fan, I wish John O’Neill a long and prosperous career as head of the ARU. As long as he is the figurehead for all the old silver-spooners, rugby will continue to shrink as the NRL and AFL get ever-bigger.

Is the Dragon Choke on Again? There is not a single Dragons fan in the world who is not fearing the Dragons choke. After two straight defeats where they lost as solid favourites with an attack that has managed only 16 points in 169 minutes. The Dragons faithful are a fragile lot and after 30-plus years without a premiership and a decade of choking in the crunch it is hard not to blame them.

The Dragons have a fairly ordinary record over the last six weeks of the regular season schedule despite making the finals in 8 of their 11 seasons. In only two seasons have the Dragons managed to go better than 3-3 over the last six rounds. Overall they are a lowly 36-30 over the final six rounds of the regular season throughout their history.

Momentum is important going into the finals. The Dragons almost never enter the finals with it. Bennett needs to get the Dragons firing soon or yet another season will end in tears for the Red V.

Highlights of the SMH Players Poll: The Sydney Morning Herald conducted a player’s poll over the weekend. Most of the responses were stock-standard and dull. There were a few nuggets of gold though. Here are those nuggets:

Best Player: Bryce Gibbs named Josh “Cannonball” Miller.

Team that will win the Comp: Issac Luke fancies Melbourne to pull off a miracle.

Best Coach: Jon Green voted for Dogs Toyota Cup coach Andy Patmore.

Fastest Player: Jared Waera-Hargraves named Jason Ryles as the fastest player in the NRL. Waera-Hargraves may have mistaken the question for fastest player to fuck up.

Funniest Sledger: Bryce Gibbs voted for himself as the funniest sledger.

Least Favourite Part of the Game: Neville Costigan hates goal-line dropouts.

Favourite non-League Sport: Steve Simpson is seemingly a massive polocrosse fan.

Next NSW Coach: Lewis Brown thinks former Warriors centre Dean Bell is the man for the job.

Player Likely to Become a Coach: Three Knights players think George Ndaira has a future in coaching while Todd Payten thinks he should be holding the clipboard.

Souths Sans Slammin’ Sam: South Sydney are facing the prospect of playing the Wests Tigers and Melbourne without their best forward in Sam Burgess after Burgess was hit with a grade two dangerous tackle charge for a vicious grapple tackle on Bulldogs livewire Ben Barba. Burgess deserves a suspension for the tackle that looked like it was right out of the Bruno Sammartino headlock handbook.

Souths are going to struggle to beat the Tigers and Melbourne without Burgess and two straight losses could bring about an end to their season. Failure to make the finals will be a tremendous disappointment to the Souths faithful who saw this year as the beginning of a new era. No Burgess combined with no Taylor, Crocker and Stuart has Souths short on forwards. The Bunnies are going to need to dig deep to make the finals this year.

More Refereeing Disgrace: The Sharks have done it tough this year. Much of it they have bought upon themselves. They hired Ricky Stuart and they kept him on. The signed off on his recruitment. They allowed him to drive legends like Brett Kimmorley from the club. As such the team cannot win a match and they are on the verge of going broke. They certainly didn’t deserve the heinous decision they copped on Saturday night at the hands of referee Jason Robinson though.

The Sharks were, simply, robbed of victory by a disgraceful and totally unacceptable refereeing blunder. The Tigers can consider themselves extraordinarily lucky to have escaped with the two points.

Ben Pomeroy was seemingly tackled a metre out from the Tigers line only to be pushed over by Bryce Gibbs, who came in with an almighty shoulder charge for seemingly no apparent reason. The shot knocked Pomeroy over the try line for what was surely the match-winner. Robinson then made the extraordinary decision to penalise the Sharks for a double movement after claiming he had already called held. A penalty against the Sharks was the most ridiculously wrong decision Robinson could have made. A try should have been awarded and if it wasn’t then Gibbs should have been penalised for going on with the tackle after it was completed. The Sharks would have either won the game or had a shot at penalty goal to send the match to golden-point. Robinson should be nowhere near first grade next week or for the remainder of the season.

Robert Finch is Gone: It was pleasing to read over the weekend that the biggest blight on rugby league, Robert Finch, is considering walking away at the end of the season. He clearly sees the writing on the wall. He will walk because he won’t be re-signed by the NRL. He is a cancer on the sport whose refereeing benchmarks, rule re-interpretations and unauthorised law making has been a colossal mess since the day he took over. Finch freely admits the standard of refereeing has been unacceptable this year. He is the man solely responsible for that. The problem is not the two refereeing system or even the majority of referees but the structures with which they operate under and the impossible interpretations they are forced to officiate with. Finch is also responsible for the nit-picky nature of the video refereeing system. Finch needs to go, a new brains trust is needed to run the referees and the video refereeing system needs to be redone. Ensuring Finch is out of the game in 2011 is a start. And it looks like we have finally made inroads into ridding the game of him.

Saluting the General: It is going to be with a heavy heart that I will say farewell to Luke Patten at season’s end as the wonderful Canterbury fullback heads overseas. The General last week announced he had signed to finish his career at Salford. He capped off a big week by scoring his 100th career try against Souths on Friday night. The feat was celebrated with a fine and respectful gesture, the entire Bulldogs team lining up and saluting Patten after the try was scored. It was the most touching try celebration in memory.

The General may not have been honoured with a New South Wales or Australian jersey but he has been one of the Bulldogs most important figures over the last decade and his quality of on-field play has him competing with Greg Bretnall, Les Johns and Mick Potter for the honour of Canterbury’s greatest ever fullback. You can count on one hand the amount of poor games he has had in the 222 he has played in the blue and white. More importantly for the club, Patten has been the glue that has held the club together during some very difficult times over the last decade. Patten has been a stalwart with the club’s interest always at heart. There is arguably no more important post-Super League figure at the club than Patten who, along with his only equal in Andrew Ryan, has been a leader who has turned the club back into the place it was during the Peter Moore era. Patten has no time for the traitors that walked out on the team. Patten managed to enjoy a drink without getting into strife. Patten always left everything on the field while some around him went about their job half-assed.

Luke Patten, to my eye, is the greatest Bulldogs fullback of all time. The General probably isn’t as skilful as Les Johns or as decorated as Greg Bretnall but he meant more to Canterbury than any player ever to wear the number one jersey at the club. He will be sorely missed next season. We can only hope he goes out with a semi-finals run and a few more tries. If any player deserves that, it is Luke Patten.

Waste of Money: The Canberra Raiders have reportedly spent up to $300,000 on Brett White. Why? The Raiders have a top class prop in David Shillington and some solid support in Dane Tilse, Scott Logan, Josh Miller and Origin representative Tom Learoyd-Lars, who has played prop for the Blues. Canberra needed to spend their money on a half and a hooker. They have just burned $300k on a soft prop with a penchant for injuries and flopping.

What I Learned from Twitter This Week: Benji Marshall had a Magnum Ego the night before the Tigers snuck home against the Sharks. It was “off the chain” by all reports. There are many in the Tigers camp who are not surprised by Marshall’s choice of ice cream.

The Most Infamous Footy Card: Last weekend I travelled home to Orange for reasons primarily truffle related. Whilst trawling through some old things, I found an assortment of old footy cards from my infant days as a league fan. There were long forgotten names like Geoff Bagnall and Peter Smith, famous faces like Terry Lamb and Alan Langer, old champions like David Hatch and Michael Bolt. There was also the most infamous card of all, that of Paul Hauff catching a bomb. It really wasn’t a card all that suitable for ten year old boys and anybody outside of seedy old women. The card was memorable though, for obvious reasons.

 

 

And now for some fun facts about Paul Hauff:

Fun Fact #1: Paul Hauff was one of the tallest backs in the history of the game, measuring in at 6’6” in the old.

Fun Fact #2: Hauff is extraordinarily well remembered but amazingly only played 51 first grade matches between 1990 and 1996 including only 13 matches over his last four seasons.

Fun Fact #3: Paul Hauff scored a hat-trick on debut for Brisbane in a 28-4 victory over Newcastle in Round 6, 1990. In his first season, Hauff scored 11 tries in 18 games and was named Brisbane’s Rookie of the Year.

Fun Fact #4: Hauff played all three matches for Queensland in their 1991 series victory but he never played for the Maroons again. Hauff replaced Gary Belcher, who would play only one more Origin match in an illustrious career after being recalled in 1993, and was replaced by Dale Shearer.

Fun Fact #5: Hauff played his one and only Test at Olympic Park in 1991 against New Zealand. Australia lost 24-8 and Hauff was axed, never to play for Australia again. It was the only ever Test held at Olympic Park.

Fun Fact #6: Hauff is one of 27 players since 1990 to play just a single Test. The others are: Jamie Ainscough, Matt Bowen, Michael Buettner, Terry Campese, Joel Clinton, Ben Creagh, Hazem El Masri, Daniel Gartner, Scott Gourley, Eric Grothe jnr, Mark Hohn, Ben Hornby, Michael Jennings, Dallas Johnson, Antonio Kaufusi, Graham Mackay, Reni Maitua, Josh Morris, Luke Priddis, Aaron Raper, Russell Richardson, Robbie Ross, Jim Sedaris, John Simon, Brett Stewart, Andrew Walker and Carl Webb.

Fun Fact #7: Hauff played only 10 matches throughout the Broncos two premiership winning seasons of 1992-93 and did not play a semi-final for the club since their unbroken streak of finals appearances began in 1992. Julian O’Neill was the Broncos fullback in both premiership wins.

Fun Fact #8: Hauff played his final match against Manly in 1996 where he scored the only try in an 18-4 loss. It was his only match for the season. Hauff played on the wing but retired soon after, his career largely plagued by injury.

Fun Fact #9: Hauff became a police officer after retiring. It is believed police officer just beat out porn star.

Why No Club Should Ever Sign Willie Mason Again: The Cowboys would be fools to re-sign Willie Mason as would any of the other fifteen NRL clubs. His interview Click Here with Jessica Halloran shows exactly why. Despite Halloran doing her best to paint Mason in a positive light, Mason comes across the self-centred imbecile he rightfully has a reputation as. Mason constantly claims to have grown up but it is quite apparent that he never will. He will continue to be a cancer on any club that signs him. The scariest thing I read last week was that Willie Mason was mentoring Arana Taumata, the player fired from four clubs in three seasons. That is bound to end well.

In the interview with Halloran, Mason besmirched the Bulldogs 2004 premiership win by claiming all the players were cranked on No-Doz. Mason said Steve Folkes was the best coach he ever had despite slagging Folkes when he left the Bulldogs, his subsequent excuse for that outburst being that he was “half-drunk”. He is filthy about players like Jarryd Hayne being bagged in the media yet he is the first to scream for more money, seemingly unaware of how the rugby league economy works. His sense of self-importance is delusional; believing he himself caused a $100,000 increase to the salary cap.

Willie Mason is a selfish, moronic sideshow who should never get paid by an NRL club again. The Cowboys are gushing over his form this year but the fact remains that Mason is again playing for a last placed team as he has for much of the last four years. He hasn’t got a contract for next year and he shouldn’t get one. Anywhere.

Response of the Week: Bulldogs CEO Todd Greenberg, when asked was there any chance Willie Mason would be playing at the Bulldogs next year, succinctly replied “no”. That was the definitive response Bulldogs fans wanted to hear. That piece of toejam should never be allowed near Belmore ever again.

The Willie M Medal: Named after a narcissistic douchebag who will never again play for the Bulldogs, despite his wishes.

 

Bulldogs-Souths	3-John Sutton (Sou)
	2-Eddy Pettybourne (Sou)
	1-Luke Patten (Bul)
Penrith-Cowboys	3-Johnathan Thurston (Cow)
	2-Ty Williams (Cow)
	1-Luke O"Donnell (Cow)
Parramatta-Roosters	3-Daniel Mortimer (Par)
	2-Feleti Mateo (Par)
	1-Timana Tahu (Par)
Tigers-Cronulla	3-Ben Pomeroy (Cro)
	2-Todd Payten (Tig)
	1-Anthony Tupou (Cro)
Warriors-Gold Coast	3-James Maloney (War)
	2-Aaron Heremeia (War)
	1-Jacob Lillyman (War)
Melbourne-Canberra	3-Daniel Vidot (Can)
	2-Joel Monaghan (Can)
	1-Travis Waddell (Can)
Brisbane-Dragons	3-Beau Scott (Dra)
	2-Mark Gasnier (Dra)
	1-Peter Wallace (Brs)
Newcastle-Manly	3-Tony Williams (Man)
	2-Kieran Foran (Man)
	1-Ben Farrar (Man)
Leaderboard	16-Mark Minichiello (GC), James Maloney (War)
	15-Preston Campbell (GC)
	14-Carl Webb (Cow)
	13-Chris Sandow (Sou), Tim Smith (Cro)
	12-Scott Dureau (New), Josh McCrone (Can), Ben Pomeroy (Cro), Joseph Tomane (GC)
	11-Brett Kimmorley (Bul), Dave Taylor (Sou)
	10-Trent Barrett (Cro)

 

Rumour Mill: There is concern at the Raiders that one of their top players may have a gambling problem. The player is reportedly a fiend for the casino as well as the pokies, dogs and horses and has allegedly lost plenty. The Raiders brass will have to get this problem under control soon. Greg Inglis is done and dusted at the Storm. A deal with the Broncos is all but complete. All this talk of him being in negotiations with the Gold Coast and South Sydney are bollocks. He will be playing in the centres with Justin Hodges in Brisbane next year. The rumours are getting hotter that Brett Kimmorley is going to have a farewell year at Cronulla. The Sharks will suit his media and family commitments more than Canberra though the Raiders are making a big push for him. On the administrative front, rumours have been flying that Paul Osborne is on thin ice at the Eels. Osborne has been making a lot of noise about recruitment but not a single name has been landed by the club. He is also becoming renowned for his public gaffes which are not reflecting well on the team. A coup is also being rumoured at Cronulla with Chairman Damien Irvine in the firing line. Irvine has ostracised many at the club and has overstepped his mark on any number of occasions. He will do well to survive into the 2011 season.

Power Rankings:

Rank	Team	Record	Last Week	High	Low
1	Roosters	12-7	2	1	11
2	Dragons	13-6	1	1	2
3	Gold Coast	11-8	9	2	10
4	Brisbane	10-9	10	4	15
5	West Tigers	12-7	5	2	8
6	Penrith	12-7	8	2	11
7	Manly	10-9	4	2	10
8	Souths	9-10	3	2	16
9	Parramatta	9-10	6	3	13
10	Warriors	11-8	7	3	13
11	Canterbury	7-12	11	5	12
12	Newcastle	8-11	14	10	15
13	Canberra	8-11	11	9	15
14	Cowboys	5-13	13	12	15
15	Cronulla	5-13	15	12	15
*	Melbourne	11-8	*	*	*

 

Where the Melbourne Storm Would Be If: The Melbourne Storm would be locked into a top four spot and would most likely be premiership favourites. It is doubtful, however, that promising young stars like Justin O’Neill and Matt Duffie, both of whom have proved themselves NRL quality players, would have been seen. There are positives to be taken from 2010 for the Storm.

Exchanges with Fisk:

Tedeschi on the Tigers: “Jesus, the Tigers were bloody lucky again on Saturday”

Fisk on the Tigers: “Fourth on the ladder: we have been blessed. The Tigers are a mediocre team at best but we keep meeting everyone at the right time. This week it is a demoralised Rabbits team and then Melbourne at Leichardt and Parramatta once their season is probably over. I dare say we will not last long in September but I can always dream.”

Coaching Stocks:

Wayne Bennett [4.5] Worry is starting to set in at the Dragons. Lack of inventiveness in attack is again causing concern.

Craig Bellamy [4.5] His most astonishing performance as a coach may be getting the Storm playing until year’s end.

Brian Smith [4.5] The Roosters are on a last-to-first run and are playing brilliant footy. Smashed a hot Parra team.

John Cartwright [4] The Titans are back rolling again. Huge come-from-behind win in Auckland.

John Lang [3.5] Bunnies lost a critical game against the Dogs. They are so hot-and-cold. Injuries may have them.

Ivan Henjak [3.5] The Broncos got their biggest win of the season as Henjak beat his mentor. Done a top job.

Tim Sheens [3] Tigers won and are now top four but they were dreadful against the Sharks. Season in the balance.

Matt Elliott [3] The Tigers were anything but convincing but they did score some non-kick tries which is positive.

Des Hasler [2.5] Brutal loss for Manly with a top four spot on the line. Lack of effort is his biggest worry.

Ivan Cleary [2.5] Cleary will be disappointed at blowing a lead at home. May need to re-examine Seymour at half.

Kevin Moore [2] A nice win that showed how good the Dogs are when they are on song. Better interchange moves.

Daniel Anderson [1] Rightfully got credit for revving Hayne up. Needs to do it again. Eels playing way too selfish.

David Furner [0] Disgraceful showing against the Storm with season on the line. Career must again be in the air.

Shane Flanagan [0] You can’t knock the Sharks commitment and they are looking crisper in attack. Unlucky Sat night.

Rick Stone [0] Huge win by the Knights. Stone had them fired up and they brutalised a disappointing Eagles team.

Neil Henry [-7.5] Talk of a player-coach divide has again hit the headlines and another loss to top it all off.

Game of the Year Nomination, Round 21: Brisbane-Dragons, 10-6. This was an old school league lover’s game that was won and lost up front and in the creativity of the halves. The Broncos went into this match knowing a loss would put them outside of the top eight. The Dragons knew that a loss would bring about calls of a late season choke. Bennett returned to Brisbane to take on his old team. The Dragons wanted revenge against the team that knocked them out in 2009. The Broncos wanted respect. The game showed plenty of desperation and had all the hallmarks of a finals encounter. As much as it pains me to say, Israel Folau showed some amazing athleticism and was one of the Broncos best while Sam Thaiday, Matt Gillett, Josh Hoffman and Corey Parker were brilliant. The Dragons tried hard but aside from Jamie Soward lacked spark in attack. Mark Gasnier is a step behind the pace of the game while Ben Hornby is not creating. The Broncos got to a 10-0 lead after 70 minutes and then held on grimly after the Dragons scored in the dying minutes. It was a brilliant performance by the Broncos and a super game of rugby league.

Obscure Score of the Week: DC Internationals-New York Knights, 10-0. The DC Internationals won the War at the Shore championship final 10-0 over the Knights in a gritty performance at the AMNRL’s feature weekend. Young Aussie Michael Chapman scored the match-winner for the Internationals in what was a big weekend for the Chapman family with Michael’s sister Kelly giving birth to her second child, a healthy young girl named Erica. That was certainly a weekend to remember for the Chapman clan of Byron Bay and now Canberra and Washington D.C.

The Queanbeyan Kangaroos 2010 Campaign: Oh, ye Gods, the wheels have come off and the Kangaroos quest for the 2010 premiership is slip sliding off the rails as the Pride of Queanbeyan went down for the second straight week. The Roos went down to the Scholars 38-32 in a top-of-the-table shootout at Northbourne Oval. The Roos are still looking comfortable in second spot but two straight losses as the finals loom is not a good sign and the hopes are there that Aaron Gorrell hasn’t bought the Dragons choking ways with him to Q-Town.

Stats from the Special Needs Penguin: The Special Needs Penguin is believed to have used 47 different types of profanity, all directed at referee Jason Robinson, after Pomeroy was controversially disallowed the match-winning try in what was a disgraceful decision.

Fantasy Team of the Week:

1. Anthony Minichiello (Roo)
2. Kane Linnett (Roo)
3. Israel Folau (Bri)
4. Greg Inglis (Mel)
5. Michael Gordon (Pen)
6. Mat Rogers (GC)
7. Kurt Gidley (New)
13. Paul Gallen (Cro)
12. Liam Fulton (Tig)
11. Luke O’Donnell (NQ)
10. Sam Burgess (Sou)
9. Issac Luke (Sou)
8. Jeremy Smith (Dra)

Waiver Wire Advice: Supercoach owners who have young Daniel Mortimer on their list should probably look to dump him. Mortimer turned in another shocker on the weekend that saw him commit four handling errors and give away a penalty. Mortimer is a player with great talent who will turn into a fine player but he is struggling this year and he offers no value at the $170k he is going for. He has only broken 40 three times since round ten and there is a possibility he will be benched soon in favour of Kris Keating. Punters can find better value at those prices like Trent Hodkinson and James Maloney.

Watch It: In some ways it is hard to believe it was only 25 years ago that Canterbury won their infamous “bomb” Grand-Final. In other ways it seems like a different game from a different lifetime. Regardless of how it is perceived through the lens of history, the Bulldogs 7-6 victory in the 1985 decider over St. George was one of tactical genius. Warren Ryan was the architect and he gave the Bulldogs their last back-to-back premierships. The tactic was simple. Bomb high for fullback “Baby” Glen Burgess and then smash him, the rules of the day being a caught bomb resulted in a line dropout. Steve Mortimer and Andrew Farrar peppered Burgess all day, who was courageous during what was his finest hour. The Bulldogs were the best team and never really looked like losing. Some crafty play from props Peter Tunks and Peter Kelly put Peter Mortimer over for the Bulldogs first and only try. Andrew Farrar converted and then slotted a late field goal to secure the win. It was an outstanding game and arguably one of the top deciders of the decade. It can be Watched Here.

Lazy Long Bay Days, Part 22: Danny is real keen to take John up on his proposition and gets message to John to come back to Long Bay. “I still speak to plenty of the boys up at Newcastle and Wally Waldron is in here. What kind of numbers are you talking about?” John sits back, smiles and simply says “plenty old son, plenty”. Danny grabs John’s hand and said desperately: “I need this…let’s make it happen.”

Beard Watch: Simon Mannering is really developing into something special; pursuing what could almost be an Abraham Lincoln. The Warriors skipper is looking a real delight with a fluffy beard bordering his face without much in the moustache area. It is a great look and one that surely terrifies opponents who dare run at him. Legend has it that Lincoln grew his beard at the behest of an 11 year old girl named Grace Beddell who wrote Lincoln before he became President imploring him to grow “whiskers” because “all the ladies like whiskers”. I would like to think Simon Mannering received a similar letter from a young Warriors fan hoping for that elusive premiership.

Correspondence Corner: An angry Nathan Boss sent me the following message on Saturday night: “I hope you will be mentioning how that parasite Jason Robinson stopped Bomberoy from scoring the match winning try in this week's couch. You may also want to attempt to recall the last time that low life maggot reffed a game that the Sharks managed to win. Round 1 2009, which is a pretty fair effort considering he seems to ref the sharks every second week.” Well, Bossman, see above. Robinson has refereed the Sharks six times this year and the Sharks are indeed 0-6 under him. In 2009 the Sharks went 1-2 under him. Overall Cronulla are 7-17 under Robinson. I would be pretty fearful of seeing his name pop up in Big League if I was a Sharks fan. Then again, I’d be pretty fearful of many things if I was a Sharks fan.