From The Couch: Round 7

Ponga Deal Not All It Cracked Up To Be for Knights: Newcastle were mighty pleased with themselves last week when announcing that they had re-signed Kalyn Ponga for five years. That decision was a near backflip with Ponga all but set to join The Dolphins. That deal went sour though when Ponga and his father were unimpressed that Bennett did not get on his knees and kiss the ground that Ponga was walking on. The fact Ponga did not want to be challenged says plenty about himself and the Knights. The 39-2 home loss is going to be more common over the next five years than premiership trophies and Grand Final appearances.

Early Origin Predictions: A far-too-early forecast for Origin I teams:

NSW
1.Ryan Papenhuyzen
2.David Nofoaluma
3.Tom Trbojevic
4.Matt Burton
5.Josh Addo-Carr
6.Jarome Luai
7.Nathan Cleary
8.Regan Campbell-Gillard
9.Damien Cook
10.Payne Haas
11.Cameron Murray
12.Liam Martin
13.Isaah Yeo
14.Nicho Hynes
15.Junior Paulo
16.Dale Finucane
17.Haumole Olakau’atu

QLD
1.Kalyn Ponga
2.Enari Tuala
3.Valentine Holmes
4.Dane Gagai
5.Xavier Coates
6.Cameron Munster
7.Daly Cherry-Evans
8.Josh Papalii
9.Harry Grant
10.Mo Fotuaika
11.Jeremiah Nanai
12.Jai Arrow
13.Tino Fa’asuamaleaui
14.Reed Mahoney
15.David Fifita
16.Tom Gilbert
17.Lindsay Collins

All Night Long – The First Half Anyway: Lionel Ritchie’s first grade career seems to be at the crossroads with Siosifa Talikai doing such a number on Morgan Harper that the Manly centre suffered the ignomy of being hooked at halftime. In a Carige-like showing, Harper was bamboozled by Talikai to such an extent that the Sharks centre entered Origin calculations and Harper is likely now a NSW Cup player. 

Try Assist of the Year: Nelson Asofa-Solomona, the biggest prop in the game, hoisting up a beautiful bomb for Ryan Papenhuyzen to snatch it from the skies. 

Quote of the Year: Anthony Griffin on the failure to sin bin Daniel Tupou for a shocking high shot: “he would have got two years in jail at Magic Round last year”. 

Dally M Atrocities – Round 7: This week’s Dally M atrocities: 

• David Shillington gave Daly Cherry-Evans a point even though Manly were never in the game against the Sharks with Ronaldo Mulitalo dreadfully unlucky. 

2022 Field Goal Update – 11: We have had four field goals across the last two weeks including two matchwinners from the Wests Tigers, the first by Jackson Hastings and the second by Luke Brooks. Zac Lomax also booted a key field goal while Mitchell Moses kicked another insulting, completely meaningless field goal (to most) that gave the Eels a 39-2 win against the Knights. It was, of course, meaningful to some with the total moving between 39.5 and 40.5 and that last field goal changing results of some bets. 

Fun Fact #1: Melbourne became the first team to post 70 points in a game in 14 years – 54 of those in the second half. 

Fun Fact #2: Six of Mitchell Moses’ 10 field goals have come in wins of 13 or more with three of his last five in wins of 25-plus. 

Fun Fact #3: Trent Barrett’s 4-27 record (12.9% win rate) at Canterbury is second worst behind only inaugural coach Tedda Courtney’s 2-14 (12.5% win rate). 

Betting Market of the Week: Who is Brenton Speed likely to mistake Chris Butler for this week?

$9.00: Niles, the Butler from The Nanny
$8.00: Gough Whitlam, former Prime Minister
$2.00: Peter Gough, again

Rumour Mill: Canterbury are believed to be looking at Paul Green as a replacement for Trent Barrett. Sean O’Sullivan seems to be following his father to the Dolphins. Cameron Munster is the hottest ticket on the free agent market but is likely to stay with Melbourne. 

Moronic Coaching Decision of the Week: It was a weekend full of moronic decisions – most of which involved makeshift centres – but none stood out more than Justin Holbrook’s decision to play David Fifita in the centres against the Cowboys. It was a debacle. The concern was that Fifita was not getting enough of the ball so he was shifted further out. When asked why he made the coach said he “had to try something”. Hardly inspiring. Holbrook’s days at the Titans are looking increasingly numbered. 

The Coaching Crosshairs: It was one of the great Rugby League mysteries that Trent Barrett was signed by Canterbury as a head coach after taking a Manly team with Daly Cherry-Evans and the Trbojevic brothers to 15th. It is truly an act of a merciless and vengeful god that Trent Barrett has managed to keep his job with just four wins from his 31 games in charge of the Bulldogs. The long list of excuses continues, covid being the latest. There was little that could be said after that abhorrent showing against a Broncos team that will not make the Top 8. Michael Ennis rightly pointed out that the Bulldogs are not fit. They have no identity. Barrett was hired, allegedly, as an attacking genius but the Bulldogs look as inept this year with the ball as they did last year. No player has developed under him. He is such a good judge of talent that he thinks Jake Averillo is a half and that Aaron Schoupp is not a first grader. If Gould does not move this week then Gould needs to go as well. It is an embarrassment to a once-proud club that he remains at the helm. 

Watch It: The Maher Cup is one of the great forgotten trophies in Rugby League, a remnant from the days when bush footy was as highly regarded as the city game and the passion was matched by no other. Here we look back on some incredible footage of Harden Murrumburah playing against some Riverina rivals. Watch it here.