From The Couch 2022: Round 3

Barnett Thuggery Has To Be Punished: There are not too many acts as blatantly thuggish and unnecessary as Mitch Barnett’s elbow to Chris Smith in Bathurst on Saturday. This was not that far from Danny Williams if we are being honest. It was off the ball. It was a raised elbow. To a player not looking. It was a diabolical act and he should count himself lucky to play again this season. 

Thank the Lord: Jayden Okunbor dropped, Jake Averillo not playing halfback and the Bulldogs resemble a football team. 

Daine Not Hitting Jackpot: The term ‘Paul Carige Game’ is not used lightly but Daine Laurie was certainly pushing to be included after a horrific display against the Warriors, standing out on the field as the worst player on it in one of the most inept awful games of the NRL Era. Laurie spilt the match-winning try over the line. He dropped bombs, missed tackles, fumbled balls. The man might need to get back on the pokies if he is going to play at something resembling a first grade level. 

Urban Dictionary Entry: Suttoned – To be managed back into or out of a game of Rugby League by any official in any capacity with the surname of Sutton. To be Suttoned. Example: The Dragons were Suttoned on Thursday night. 

Bunker Doctor Getting With It: It was great to see the NRL using medicine and the health of a player to eliminate diving in the NRL. The Bunker Doctor took Chanel Harris-Tavita from the field when the Warriors player acted like he had been shot when no high contact was made. Alex Seyfarth was delightful giving him the what-for. 

Black Saturday: Just a quick recap of my wagering Saturday to make every reader feel a little better about their lives:

• Took the early line of Newcastle +12.5. Knights led 6-4 when Mitch Barnett lost his mind. The Panthers led by just eight with two minutes to play before kicking out on the full and then a short kick off error saw Penrith score twice to win by 16, crossing on the final play of the game.
• Bet Ryan Papenhuyzen for last try against the Eels. He indeed scored the last try of regulation and was a pretty short price to hold on until Mitchell Moses hit the post, Ray Stone was miraculously onside and a game for the ages ended in financial heartache. 
• Had the Titans +1.5. Thoroughly enjoyable watching them blow a 22-0 lead to lose 24-22. 

Dally M Disasters: Round 3 Dally M atrocities:

• David Shillington gave Ryan Papenhuyzen three votes on a losing team instead of Parramatta star Dylan Brown
• Brad Schenider was extremely unlucky to miss out on a vote from Greg Alexander
• Scott Sattler is off his head if he thinks Jeremy Marshall-King played better than Matt Dufty, Reuben Garrick or Brandon Wakeham.

2022 Field Goal Update – 5: Daly Cherry-Evans booted the 24th field goal of his NRL career to roll Canterbury 13-12. It was not pretty but as always with Cherry-Evans, it was highly effective. 

Fun Fact #1: Seven players have scored 1500 premiership points but have not kicked a field goal: Hazem El Masri, Jarrod Croker, Michael Gordon, Craig Fitzgibbon, Graeme Langlands, Jamie Lyon and Keith Barnes. 

Fun Fact #2: Courtesy of @crazyrugbyleaguefacts: Moses Mbye has never won a game starting at hooker. 

Fun Fact #3: Courtesy of @BillTringas – Five Wests Tigers directors have been on the board for more than six years including Danny Stapleton for 11, the only one to see a finals appearance. 

GGOA 2022: If you want to get an edge betting on the NRL this year, subscribe to my GGOA set with different packages available. This is the old Punters Guide set. There are a heap of packages available. Those subscribing in Round 3 saw the biggest bet of the week lob landing Souths +4. Bettors are up 19.29% POT through three rounds. 

Betting Market of the Week: Where is Luke Brooks’ potential:

$501: Near the surface, ready to emerge in the ‘22 Tigers set up
$51: Ready to come to full bloom at another club
$1.02: Living in some mythical land like Narnia or Z or Michael Maguire’s brain

Rumour Mill: Robbie Farah has been accused – and denies – calling Michael Maguire a Micheal Lucking Karmichael Hunt to players late in the loss to the Warriors. Luke Brooks looks likely to depart the Tigers with Newcastle his most likely destination. Phil Gould is believed to have strongly advised that Jayden Okunbor and Jake Averillo should be dropped with the latter a particularly difficult decision for Trent Barrett. 

The Coaching Crosshairs: Brisbane started the season with two very impressive wins but a horrid 38-12 home loss has thrown Kevin Walters’ future at the Broncos right back under the spotlight. It was a humiliating defeat and one which highlighted that the Broncos are very one-dimensional with some glaring concerns, notably Kotoni Staggs and some horrific redzone attack. Walters is on a short leash and too many more of those losses and he will be out of the NRL. 

Moronic Coaching Decision of the Week: Coaches can seemingly overcome a string of bad results, a long line of terrible decision-making, an inability to build a roster or a failure to win internal political battles. Not too many overcome ridicule though (see Seibold, Anthony). So it comes with some surprise that Michael Maguire, in his current parlous state, would declare of Luke Brooks that “I can see him playing representative football, I’ve said that every year since i’ve been here”. That makes Maguire wrong a perfect three-from-three and he is $1.01 to be wrong again. It was an absurd statement from a coach who is fast losing his grip on reality. Even if he truly believes it, which surely he does not, it takes some kind of stupid to state it publicly knowing you will be the source of ridicule. 

Watch It: It is hard to believe for anyone who has seen the Bulldogs play over the last half-decade but Canterbury were once known as The Entertainers. They had a resurgence of that nickname in 1993 and it is easy to see why with tries like this one scored by Darren Smith. Watch it here.