Kicking With The Wind: Round 7

It’s questionable how much worth there is in telecasting the post-match press conferences at AFL games… questionable in that they’re almost always boring, quote-by-numbers affairs.

That said, Mick Malthouse’s performance on Friday night was worth watching if only for the prima donna departure that came about when the Carlton coach was faced with a question he didn’t like from Channel 7 reporter Mark Stevens.

‘Stevo’ is a pretty obvious target for disgruntled coaches – he doesn’t always have anything good to ask, but has to throw something out there to guarantee a sound bite and justify his shiny ‘7’ lapel pin.

Just why he needed to ask about Dale Thomas’s fitness is a mystery as Thomas is obviously struggling for form and fitness since becoming a Blue.

Maybe it was a set-up. Something akin to a well-worked bit in some far flung professional wrestling arena. Maybe not.

Either way, though, by shooting Stevens a withering glance as he stood up and stomped out of the press room, muttering something about having watched the same game as Stevens, Malthouse proved himself cantankerous and tetchy – and perhaps even more so than usual.

 

We are the woeful Blues

Given his side sits 2-5 heading into the bye rounds, Malthouse can probably be forgiven for lacking humour around the press.

He might also be mightily pissed off that the Blues boars sold him the proverbial lemon in ever suggesting the Carlton list needed little more than a spit polish to push for silverware.

There are yawning holes in every line and less depth than Lake Eyre across the list.

The sins of the past (salary cap indiscretions, specifically) are still being brought to bear on the current crop.

The Blues famously lost draft picks in 2002-03, a period during which they were able to acquire Andrew Walker in a ‘priority pick’ scenario.

Now, it’s the top end of the list that is obviously bare. Throw in an injury to the ageing mercenary Chris Judd and a whole bunch of questionable recruitment decisions during the past decade and you really wonder how Malthouse ever let himself get sucked in.

We all know the ox is slow but the earth is patient, but just how patient will Mick be trying to plough his current field using little more than his bare hands and a broken shovel?

 

Same same but different
The great Mr D is poised to exit the building and his place will soon be taken by the extravagantly-named, polo loving Gillon McLachlan.

It was no great surprise when McLachlan was wheeled out for the press during the week – and according to some reports he has been working his way into the role in a quite transparent fashion for some time now.

Some of the residual muck from the Essendon ‘scandal’ will probably stick to McLachlan – at least until he manages to reduce the price of hot chips and saveloys at the MCG.

People are always willing to forget when the price of chips comes down.

But aside from the general cost of a day at the footy – and the aforementioned spectre of performance enhancing drugs and organised crime in sport – McLachlan would appear to have inherited a business in rude health.

He certainly didn’t appear to be a man worried about the task at hand when interviewed on ABC Grandstand early on Saturday afternoon.

In fact, he sounded incredibly similar to Mr D… deep of voice, seemingly unflappable and possessing a healthy appreciation of his own self-importance.

 

Shit Tweet of the week
Francis (@SaintFrankly) Leach must have found the time to watch Friday Night Footy this week – and weren’t we blessed to have a running commentary throughout Collingwood’s demolition of the Blues.

At the height of his holier-than-thou stream of tweets he came up with a real beaut.

‘someone inform every player involved with #AFLBluesPies that it’s not the 80’s & hard running, exciting, contested football is now illegal’

But what exactly does it mean? Far from being able to sit back and enjoy the game, it seems Leach – a bitter St Kilda fan – took a couple of airy swipes at the fare on offer.

Not surprisingly, Leach wasn’t anywhere to be found in the Twittersphere as the Saints turned up their toes against Hawthorn to the tune of 145 points.

 

Hoffwatch
It’s been a quiet couple of weeks for The Hoff – and there’s no sugar-coating it.

But given he’s spearheaded Port’s rise to the top of the AFL ladder going into Round 7, it’s hard to argue with his right to a short break in form.

Mark these words – The Hoff will rise again!