NRL Almanac: Canberra Raiders – A Lego Hat of Commitment
Ahh, the Southern Cross Club of Woden, Canberra. When you go to the Cross Club you can’t help but wonder if the management searched for a moment in time – 1989 perhaps – and decided that the club would never change from that day on. The carpet, the menu, the mopes sitting at the bar, the enduring aroma of stale beer and chicken Parmigiana – it’s all there, every day of the week, every month of the year, for eternity. And that’s fine by me. As long as Cold Chisel is on the jukebox, Old is on tap, and the Raiders are playing I wouldn’t want them to change a thing.
Except for the massive plasma-screen in the main bar, that is new. One of the few additions since 1989, and one of the few extras I would agree with. Good to see all that poker machine revenue isn’t going to waste. There is also a sign next to the big screen in the Cross Club that says ‘this screen is for Rugby league’. I like that. There’s also a much smaller screen a little way down the wall that says ‘this screen is for AFL’. I like that too. These are people who understand their sporting priorities.
So the game began and the start was promising. A Titan player put one foot out receiving the kick-off and Canberra scored at the two minute mark. Snap. I was feeling upbeat. The boys in green had smashed the Storm at home last week, and now I was ready to kick back and watch them demolish the hapless Titans.
Unfortunately, everything from that point on sank every Raiders supporter in the room into a miasma of despair.
Jamal Idris was given way too much latitude. Yes he is an overrated creampuff and yes, his hair smells like big foot’s dick, but that doesn’t mean you don’t put anyone on him in defence. I believe he was unmarked the entire game. He was just walking around, strolling through gaps in the defence as large as big foot’s dick. Passing the ball, of course, after 20 meters or so after when he became exhausted from all the jogging he was forced to do. Unfortunately whomever it was running off his shoulder – usually William Zillman or Steve Michaels – was also running into space.
The atmosphere was getting tense in the Cross Club. At one point a supporter behind me yelled in fury after a suspicious-looking Titan’s score, “if that’s a try, I’M A TRY”. Well I tell you something reader, I have no idea what that means. I really don’t. But I agree entirely.
While the game unfolded I flicked through a nearby Canberra Times, trying to distract myself from the depressing shellacking the Raiders were receiving. Inside there was an article about a lego exhibition taking place in Canberra. The story told of a 36 year-old Melbournian who travelled up to Canberra just for the event. The dude even wore a hat made of lego to the exhibition. Yes, you read that right.
The paper reported the plastic-crowned gentleman as saying, “I’ve spent (hundreds of) hours creating models and spent one hour building a hat and yet it’s the most popular thing I’ve ever made.” And furthermore, “I get home from work, have dinner and sit down with a tray of lego and think ‘what will I build tonight.’”
And all I could think was – maybe I should wander down and check out this lego exhibition. ‘Cause it’d be a damn sight better than this crap I’m watching on the big screen. Hell, a lego hat? That rates better than the average Raiders game all by itself.
So what if the guy wearing it is a high-pant virgin living in his mother’s basement? At least the man is passionate about something; at least he sets a goal and doesn’t stop until it is completed. Unlike the insipid pack of the Canberra Raiders.
Come on boys. Build that lego hat of commitment to the game, and don’t stop until it is done.
Terrible game. Compelled, I’ll award points as follows:
3 points: William Tillman
2 points: Luke Bailey
1 point: guy behind me who screamed “IF THAT’S A TRY, I’M A TRY”.
