Season 2008: Round 15

From The Couch

Chopping Off the Rotting Head…As someone who has held Steven Folkes in the highest regard for nearly my entire life, I never thought the following words would come from my pen. Steve Folkes is dead to me and he needs to be driven from Belmore immediately. Two security guards should escort him from his office and warn him never to come back or he will be beaten with brutal force. He has lost his mind and in these perverse times of failure and misery, insanity is not a highly sought after characteristic. Rather than accept blame for Canterbury’s most humiliating defeat in over fifty years, Folkes found it necessary to attack Bulldogs fans who dared criticize his coaching. Here is the tip Folkes: your team has won four games all season and is limping from one humiliation to the next. You are not above criticism. The refusal of Folkes to blood young players is entirely selfish and stupid beyond belief.

It also shows how little he actually cares about the long-term future of the club. Ben Barba should be playing first grade, as should John Kite and Daniel Harrison. The Bulldogs have nothing more to play for this season and should take the opportunity to give the trio an opportunity in the top grade. Already we have seen the likes of Justin Carney, Tony Williams and Chris Sandow step up to the mark when given the opportunity. More importantly, these players who have been given the opportunity will be better for the run in 2009. Of course, Folkes doesn’t care. He won’t be here. He cares about nothing more than his own record. That is why he has to go now. Give Kevin Moore control and let the rebuilding begin. Whatever the results, they can’t be more humiliating than the ones currently being handed out. Folkes is out of touch and he will be without a head if he keeps up this selfish outlook.

Benefit of the Doubt…Benefit of the doubt, my ass. It’s probably just Millhouse. These video referees just continue to amaze me with their constant traverses into new depths of disgrace and depravity. When you think you have seen the worst of it, the carnage just continues to penetrate even deeper. Over the course of twenty-four hours, two abhorrent decisions were made. On Saturday night, Raiders prop Dane Tilse clearly scored a legitimate try. Video referee Chris Ward ruled no try. On Sunday, Michael Robertson grounded the ball just before/simultaneously hitting the corner post. Video referee Graeme West ruled no try. In both cases, there was not only extreme doubt. The decisions were blatantly wrong. Yet in other instances, benefit of the doubt was used as justification in awarding tries. There is just no consistency and the reason is twofold. The first is that benefit of the doubt rule is fundamentally flawed and should be stricken from the law books. If the video referee cannot make a decision with absolute certainty, it should be referred back to the referee. The second flaw in the rule is a reliance on the men appointed as video referees, a group that collectively is the most incompetent assembly of human beings ever convened. They should all be castrated or at the very least deported. The inconsistency and the stupidity are becoming intolerable and there will be bloodshed if it isn’t bought to an immediate end.

Tightening the Vice…Bob Fulton was spot on the money when he called out referees boss Robert Finch for his disgraceful impact on Origin II. Fulton demanded that Finch make public his instructions to referee Tony Archer after Finch took it upon himself to rewrite the rules of rugby league and fundamentally change how the ruck is refereed. Fulton should have gone further. He should have brought that old cement truck out of retirement and run over Finch and anybody trying to protect him. Rugby league would be the better for such action.

Farewell Jason Ryles, You Will Be Missed By Nobody…It was the most wonderful news that anybody could have hoped to receive. Jason Ryles was leaving these shores and will no longer be blighting the game of rugby league with his stupidity, laziness and ineptitude. Good luck Catalans. You have purchased a gimp.

Hegarty…Shannon Hegarty, you are one crazy cat. Getting a recall on Monday night, Hegarty put together his traditional game of one good thing to every four horrible things. His long break and dummy were highlights for the ages and will surely feature heavily in the inevitable Shannon Hegarty DVD box-set. Pre-orders can be made now through the South Sydney Rabbitohs. Please email forthwith demanding many copies.

Coaching Stocks…

Value	LW	Coach	Comment
5	5	Craig Bellamy	Bellamy's speech at halftime, revving the Storm for an inept performance, exemplifies why the Storm are so good.
5	4.5	Ricky Stuart	The Sharks are the masters of a grinding win this season. They did it again. They are lifeless in attack but still win.
4.5	4.5	Brad Fittler	The Roosters can win without playing well. That is a big sign. An over-reliance on kicks may prove costly.
4	4	Wayne Bennett	Brisbane continues to whack away and wins with injuries. He is getting them though Origin on his last run.
4	4	Des Hasler	Manly were hot and cold but still got the win. Their confidence wins them plenty of games they should lose.
3.5	4	Michael Hagan	The Eels are flat track bullies. They can mess up weak teams but cannot handle an arm wrestle. At the cross roads.
3.5	3.5	Tim Sheens	The Tigers showed plenty of grit against the Broncos. Lack of size remains a big concern, however.
3.5	3.5	Brian Smith	The Knights are now a tough defensive team. If they get some creativity in attack, they are a threat.
3	3.5	John Cartwright	The Titans are in crisis mode now with another road loss. They need to start winning away.
2.5	1.5	Neil Henry	Led the Raiders to one of their best wins of the decade. Again, the Raiders are scrapping their way up.
2	2	Matt Elliott	The Panthers were stoic against the Dragons. Injuries are hurting though.
2	1.5	Nathan Brown	The Dragons got another win…you can't argue with results.
0.5	0.5	Ivan Cleary	The Warriors lost another at home but showed some handy signs. Still, Cleary's days are numbered…
0.5	0.5	Jason Taylor	Against a 13-man Titans team, Taylor could not figure out how to break them open. Got lucky.
0	0.5	Ian Millward	The Cowboys are a lazy, stupid and weak team. They are fully deserving of the whippings they are getting.
0	0.5	Steve Folkes	Folkes is dead to me. And to most Canterbury fans as well. He is selfish in not blooding youngsters and needs to go.

 

Round Fifteen in 2001…In scenes reminiscent of Saturday night, the Canberra Raiders headed to Sydney and belted the Bulldogs. The Raiders ran roughshod over the Bulldogs, running in a 32-0 win with tries to Andrew McFadden and Mark McLinden, among plenty of others. In a match without defense, the New Zealand Warriors beat the Northern Eagles 34-30. It was a similar story in Townsville where the Storm and the Cowboys put on a feast of points, the Storm winning 38-24. P.J Marsh and Brett Hodgson scored doubles in Parramatta’s 36-6 win over the Sharks. Nathan Blacklock scored a hat-trick and Willie Peters dobbed a field goal in the Dragons 27-22 win over the Tigers. 

The Colin Best Express Fan Revue…The Colin Best Express has been second in newsworthiness over the last week only to Belinda Neal. The volcano has exploded. CBE turned in a game that is regarded as the greatest fantasy performance of the fantasy era. The Express scored four tries, laid on another, ran for 191 metres, made four line breaks and twelve tackle breaks and offloaded the ball three times. His try just after halftime was the 70,000th scored in top grade Sydney rugby league, ensuring he will forever be etched in history. It was an amazing performance and one that must surely convince New South Wales selectors to name him for Origin III. But for his most faithful fan, his performance was sullied and the love that once burned bright is just a little duller today. It was with great sadness that I received word that CBE was abandoning the Raiders and joining one of the more loathsome clubs in the NRL, South Sydney. He followed this up by turning in his greatest ever effort…against the Bulldogs. This affair with the Colin Best Express appears to be star-crossed and I don’t know if any of us will ever recover from the heartbreak.

Game of the Year Nomination, Round 15…Cronulla-Parramatta, 16-14. There were plenty of close games this weekend despite very few of them being wonderful displays of rugby league. The Sharks victory takes the cake for the controversial finish. Fuifui Moimoi was an idiot and deserves to be flogged. Kimmorley was forty-plus metres out and Moimoi thought it a good idea to leave his feet. Well done, Einstein.

Great Canterbury Hooker of Yesteryear…Joe Thomas. The plucky journeyman, who could play everywhere from five-eighth to hooker, was only at Canterbury for three seasons but in that time he won a premiership and was highly regarded by coaching staff and fans. Thomas was a workhorse who offered plenty of creativity around the ruck. In essence, he played like a skillful Mario Fenech. Thomas was one of the last links to the old style of hooker that is now long dead.

Fantasy Players of the Week…Colin Best, Terry Campese, Greg Inglis, Anthony Laffranchi, Israel Folau, Isaac Luke, Feleti Mateo, John Sutton, Ben Creagh, Glenn Stewart, Brent Kite, Ray Cashmere, Kurt Gidley, Chris Heighington, Danny Buderus, Cameron Smith.

Surprise Fantasy Players of the Week…Joe Picker, Carl Webb, David Milne, Glen Turner, David Fa’alogo, Dean Collis, Dene Halatau, Matthew Keating, Justin Carney, Trent Waterhouse.

Rebecca Wilson-Danny Wiedler, Scorecard…Wilson takes this round cleanly. She is on leave. Wiedler, the self-obsessed phony, decided to return and that has cost him. He returned with his usual fluff pieces on nothing important. It was all rather pathetic.

And One Final Thought…It is a real shame that my last name is not Williams as I would surely have been signed by an NRL team, most likely as an outside back. The Williams boom has been heavy in recent times. David. John. Tony. Ty. Danny. Reece. Sonny Bill. And Joe. Hell, if the Joe Williams Experience can play first grade then it is quite apparent that anybody with the name Williams can.