Season 2008: Round 22

From The Couch

Judas Notes #1…Judas Williams landed his brother/manager Khoder Nasser in hot water during his interview on the Footy Show last Thursday. Judas, showing all his intelligence, named Nasser as his manager only days after Nasser denied he acted on behalf of Judas. Williams quickly changed his position, referring to Nasser as his brother from then on. Ah, the price you pay when you hitch your wagon to a fool.

Judas Notes #2…One can only hope that Judas will have his assets seized in the very near future. It does seem like it will only be a matter of time. Judas has refused to send legal representation to court proceedings and has defied the injunction preventing him playing rugby in France. Judas may one day play for the All Blacks though it is doubtful it will ever be on Australian soil. A jail cell awaits if he does attempt to get back into this country.

Judas Notes #3…Judas Williams lied about being offered in excess of $1 million by St. Helens back in 2004. None of us are surprised. It is just one more stroke on the canvas of a greedhead.

Judas Notes #4…The whole Judas Williams affair is affecting people in many different ways. One well known Punting Ace icon actually had his dreams invaded. On a strange Wednesday night, while deep in sleep, the Punting Ace personality had visions of Judas Williams running the 400 metres at the Beijing Games, representing, of all countries, Israel. There is little doubt Judas would be representing Israel if they had the cash to pay him.

Slip of the Tongue…Even in error, it is impossible to have even the briefest negative thought about Alan Tongue. The Raiders skipper suggested to Terry Campese that new halfback Marc Herbert take the final shot at goal to allow him to get on the scorers sheet. The decision cost Campese a place in history as the conversion would have put Campese equal with Mal Meninga for most points scored in a single match for the Raiders. Alan Tongue, you are a gentleman and a leader.

Another Day, Another Club…Over the last week, Neville Costigan has professed a desire to play for at least four different teams. Throughout the season, Costigan, who has done very little for the Raiders, has pledged his desire to stay at the club. That pledge of loyalty came after approaches to Brisbane, the Gold Coast and North Queensland were all rejected. Over the last week, he was set to go to Melbourne. And then South Sydney. Now it is the Dragons, as he wants to play for the man he loves, Wayne Bennett. For a mediocre player, he sure has managed to get around this year. The Raiders, I am sure, are not too concerned.   

The Playoff Beard…The New Zealand Warriors deserve to play finals football for no other reason than their commitment to the playoff beard, a hockey tradition that started with the New York Islanders in the 1980’s and is now a widely practiced custom at all levels of the sport. The Warriors have adopted the practice with all members committed to sporting a beard until they are eliminated. Facial hair brings luck. It is a noble belief. Hockey and rugby league, two sports for hard men, united by superstition and beards and bloodshed. Feel the warmth.

September Trouble…The two teams who are most likely to make a small run in the finals series are Canberra and Newcastle. The reason is simple: they are both playing quality attacking rugby league. Neither is good enough to roll Melbourne or Manly but if either gets matched-up with Cronulla or the Roosters, an upset would certainly be on the cards. The Raiders are dangerous all over the paddock and are playing with great confidence while the Knights have moved on from last season and are following Kurt Gidley’s outstanding lead. I would not be surprised to see either team win a finals match or two.

Ewan McGrady, Reincarnated…Steve Folkes made a most apt comparison when he compared exciting prospect Ben Barba to early nineties excitement machine Ewan McGrady. McGrady, in a brief career at Canterbury, set the game alight with some brilliant rugby league that saw him win the 1991 Rothman’s Medal. Barba seems to have many of McGrady’s traits and showed just that on Saturday evening with a sensational try and a brilliant run that setup the second. Barba is going to be a superstar and his time in the top grade this season is just what he requires.

Coaching Stocks…

Value	LW	Coach	Comment
5	5	Craig Bellamy	The Storm passed their biggest test of '08 with flying colours. Bellamy continues to lift his team for the big games.
4.5	4.5	Des Hasler	Manly lost no admirers on Friday night. Hasler's challenge is now to make the adjustments needed to beat the Storm.
4.5	4.5	Wayne Bennett	The Broncos were tough against the Warriors when short on personnel. Benny made the right call in susp.Thaiday.
4.5	4.5	Brian Smith	The Knights are flying at the moment and can threaten from the bottom of the eight with Gidley and Mullen.
4.5	3.5	Neil Henry	The Raiders are now being lauded as the most exciting team in the NRL. A great achievement with so few stars.
4	4	Ricky Stuart	No problem defeating Souths. Still, referees are starting to figure them out. Straight sets loss in Sept. coming up.
3.5	3.5	Tim Sheens	The Tigers are plugging away. It is imperative, however, that the Tigers beat the Eels this week.
3	4	Brad Fittler	The loss to Parramatta highlighted that the Roosters are not ready for a title run yet. Too inconsistent.
2.5	1.5	Ivan Cleary	The Warriors are starting to perform well at home. Recalling Witt was a good call from Cleary.
2	2.5	John Cartwright	Huge defensive concerns for Cartwright. Prince's absence cannot be blamed for allowing so many points.
1	1.5	Nathan Brown	The Saints are again capitulating. No power up front will see them probably miss the eight.
0.5	1	Jason Taylor	JT has little idea about selection or preparation. It is only a matter of time before he is replaced by John Lang.
0.5	0	Michael Hagan	His ill health cannot be blamed. He does coach the most frustrating team in the NRL. Weekend win will bring respite.
0	2	Matt Elliott	Elliott's time looks over. It will take a lot to recover from the weekend's humiliation.
-2	-2	Ian Millward	Got his first win but it was against the Bulldogs and that doesn't mean much these days.
-2.5	-1.5	Steve Folkes	Poor Steve Folkes. This is not the way he pictured his last year. Must avoid the spoon at all costs.

 

The Colin Best Express Fan Revue…Ten facts about our hero, seemingly stolen by a bunch of crazed Chuck Norris addicts.

• If you can see Colin Best, he can probably see you. If you can’t see Colin Best, you may be only seconds away from death.
• Colin Best doesn’t pop his collar. His shirts get erections when they touch his body.
• Colin Best can believe it’s not butter.
• Colin Best can, indeed, divide by zero.
• If tapped, a Colin Best fend could power all of Australia for seventy-four minutes.
• Colin Best does not have hair on his testicles. Hair does not grow on steel.
• There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Colin Best lives in Australia.
• Colin Best doesn’t believe in rugby union.
• Colin Best is currently suing Channel Ten, claiming Law and Order are trademark names for his left and right legs.
• Colin Best is ten feet tall, weights two-tons, breathes fire, can eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast to the stomach…and still beat the fullback.

 

Round Twenty-Two in 1995…In what was a magical and emotional weekend for Canterbury fans, Belmore Sports Ground said farewell to their favourite son Terry Lamb with a brilliant 66-4 victory over the Cowboys, a win that would spur the Bulldogs on to premiership glory. Lamb scored a double to go along with Rod Silva’s hat-trick and two-try performances from Brett Dallas and Jason Hetherington. Unfortunately, Lamb would be drawn out of retirement next season by the treachery of four ARL defectors. Three players turned in four-try hauls over the weekend. Mat Rogers touched down four times in the Sharks 24-14 win over Newcastle, Ken Nagas was brilliant in scoring four meat pies in the Raiders 58-4 win over South Queensland and Steve Renouf planted four in the Broncos 44-6 demolition of Auckland. Other big wins included Illawarra’s 46-6 victory over Wests, the Roosters 44-6 destruction of the hapless Sydney Tigers and Manly’s 32-4 march over Souths. Norths and the Gold Coast fought out a 14-all draw with Jason Taylor’s inaccurate boot costing the Bears victory.

Game of the Year Nomination, Round 22…Manly-Melbourne, 10-16. This was grand final football at its most brutal and most compelling. Both teams were outstanding showing fire in defence and lithe skill in attack. Billy Slater was simply a sight to behold while the ruggedness of both packs has both teams in good stead for September. It is just a shame that video referee Steve Clark once again failed to rise to the occasion. It is little wonder why he was never given a grand final to officiate.

Great Canterbury Prop of Yesteryear…Robert Tocco. It wasn’t a long career at Belmore nor was it particularly distinguished. Regardless, Tocco was a likable type who slaved away in every one of his twenty-eight top grade games at the Bulldogs between 1996 and 1998. He was a workhorse and I have always felt a kindred bond for those types. He has probably been forgotten by most but in an era where his kind is a rare breed; there is some longing for the return of a new Robert Tocco.

Fantasy Players of the Week…Terry Campese (largest fantasy score in recorded history), Trevor Thurling, Krisnan Inu, Cory Paterson, Kurt Gidley, Colin Best, David Milne, Nathan Hindmarsh, Paul Gallen, Jarrod Mullen, Jerome Ropati, Ray Cashmere.

Surprise Fantasy Players of the Week…Travis Burns, Sione Faumuina, Junior Sau, Marc Herbert, Ben Barba, Shane Tronc, Cooper Vuna, Tom Learoyd-Lars, Aaron Payne, Joel Clinton.

Congragulations…Rylstone Ridgies. The Ridgies were the courageous winners of the 2008 FFL, downing a gutless and inept Yenda Yuans in the decider. It is the second consecutive season that Yenda has won the minor premiership and then lost when it mattered. Numerous comparisons have already been made to Greg Norman, Jana Novotna and the Buffalo Bills. Hoho. Cruelty can be so fun sometimes.

Rebecca Wilson-Danny Wiedler, Postscript II…Anyone who had even the slightest belief that Wiedler was a decent, upstanding citizen need only look at his pathetic interview of Judas Williams on last Thursday’s Footy Show. It was nothing more than a Mundine-Nasser-Williams promotion piece that was as loathsome as it was feeble. As a matter of principle, this wordsmith will no longer watch any Nine programming until Wiedler is fired. Nine could be interviewing God and Santa Claus from Mars and it would not be enough to entice me back to the channel.

And One Final Thought…The Panthers front office need to undertake a complete overhaul of their football department, starting with the sacking of coach Matt Elliott. The Panthers embarrassed themselves on the weekend in Canberra with a display so pathetically weak-willed that there is not a word in the English language that accurately describes how shameful their effort was. Elliott has been in the job nearly two years yet the Panthers continue to have the same attitude problems they had when he arrived. The situation will not change with the likes of Shane Rodney and Adam Woolnough playing NSW Cup while Tony Puletua and Frank Pritchard are kept in the first’s. The Panthers need to get a Penrith man in the job with a mandate to overhaul the team. There are very few on the Panthers roster who deserve to be playing first grade.