Season 2008: Round 5

From The Couch

Channeling Vince Lombardi, Panicking Like Nathan Brown…Jason Taylor did his best to channel the legend of Vince Lombardi when making the journey down from the box and calling his players into huddle mode with only twenty minutes remaining but all that was achieved was the assurance that Souths would not take the two competition points and that Jason Taylor has officially entered Nathan Brown territory for job security. Taylor, one of the least inspirational figures to ever involve himself in the coaching game, attempted to “rally the troops” by pulling his team off the field after a Bunnies try and laying down his words of wisdom. Taylor has had an entire offseason and four rounds to prepare his team and he has a runner to pass on any in-game messages. Had Souths have won; they could have lost the two points based entirely on Taylor’s showboat actions. Taylor was revered as a saviour in 2007 but those days are long gone. He will be lucky to see out the season. And I wouldn’t expect him to find another coaching gig anytime soon.

Lucky Sevens…Well, it will be for one New South Welshman anyway. The most open halfback race in the history of Origin football has created a great deal of interest, leading to Lasseters offering a market on who will play halfback for the Blues in Origin I. Plenty of value exists with both Todd Carney and Kurt Gidley over the odds and Jarrod Mullen a possible speculation bet at long odds. The joint favourites are Peter Wallace and Brett Finch and both are too short. Finch is a deserved favourite and will get his opportunity in the seven with Tim Smith unavailable indefinitely for Parramatta but always remains only a couple of poor performances away from being cast in the role of the mug. Peter Wallace is an even shakier proposition at the odds, with selectors surely wary of his lack of big time football and his relatively quick ascent to contention. Brett Kimmorley and Matt Orford are also both well under the odds and have age working against them. Blues selectors may take the opportunity of a new coach and a string of series defeats to usher in a new guard that will be the Blues core for the next five to ten seasons. Mitchell Pearce is young and will one day play for New South Wales but may be considered too inexperienced. He is certainly in the mix, however. The two bets are Todd Carney and Kurt Gidley, both listed as $8 hopes. Carney was simply outstanding against the Tigers on Sunday afternoon, displaying the tremendous skill set that made him one of the best paid players in the game. It is mind boggling to imagine how good Carney could be with a team of Origin talent around him. Two weeks ago, Kurt Gidley was only in contention for the utility bench spot. Injuries to Jarrod Mullen and Scott Dureau, however, ensures he will get a chance in the seven and with his class, is now right in contention for a starting gig in the halves.

“Oww…My Back…Get The Hell Off Me”…There are few injuries more debilitating to a rugby league career than a back injury. One need only ask Anthony Minichiello, who has once more had a glittering career put on hold with more back-related pain. Three years ago the exciting Roosters custodian played through the pain and now cannot be relied on to play a month of consecutive football. While he is brilliant on the field, he is a crock. The same will be true for Robbie Farah if the Tigers chief playmaker attempts to play through his back injury. Youthful exuberance could end his career. Farah needs to rehabilitate his back and spend enough time on the sidelines to ensure the talented rake plays out his career at the level we have become accustomed.

Bitches #1…Manly. The Eagles played as the Storm’s billing suggested…with womanly tendencies. Manly were pathetic in the Grand Final replay and were never in the contest. The Storm systematically dismantled an Eagles team that played without direction or potency. The Eagles rarely looked like penetrating the Storm defense with the impotent attack failing to cause any grief. Manly have serious problems on the attacking side of the ball and will need to improve markedly if they are to remain in contention.

Bitches #2…Canterbury. The Bulldogs were disgraceful in the second half against the Warriors, dropping ball and missing tackles. Daniel Holdsworth needs to be sent to reserve grade forthwith and will hopefully never be seen again. Not in the blue and white, at any rate. The Bulldogs need to toughen up and smarten up.

Bitches #3…South Sydney. Souths loss to Cronulla was a real testament to their attacking ineptitude and their insomnia-curing style of play. The Bunnies had 54% of possession, won the penalty count 8-4, missed twenty fewer tackles, made more than twice as many tacklebreaks, forced five Cronulla dropouts and had all the field position in the second half. And they managed to lose. Poor coaching and a garbage halfback are the only explanations for such mediocrity.

Coaching Stocks…

Val	LW	Coach	Comment
5	5	Craig Bellamy	The Storm are back and Bellamy continues to be revered.
5	4.5	Ricky Stuart	Has Sharks on top of the table after five away games. Super effort.
4.5	4	Brad Fittler	Has taken Roosters back into contention. A club fave. Safe as a bank.
4	4.5	Michael Hagan	Parra struggling. Needs to toughen them up. Titans loss at home was bad.
4	4.5	Des Hasler	Eagles were terrible against the Storm. Needs to add some creativity.
4	4	Wayne Bennett	Broncos results will mean little. Still The Man.
4	3.5	Ivan Cleary	Has done an amazing job considering injuries. His star is on the rise.
3.5	3.5	Tim Sheens	Worrying blown lead at Canberra. Stock strongly correlated to Farah's health.
3.5	3.5	John Cartwright	Big away win and has Titans right in the mix.
3	2.5	Brian Smith	Last season is forgotten. Another loss but had the Broncs at five tries all.
2	2	Neil Henry	Big comeback win. Henry increasingly disliked in Canberra.
1	2	Jason Taylor	Career in free fall. Souths were inept again and sideline huddle showed the panic.
1	1.5	Steve Folkes	Pressure to hand over to Moore immediately. Will be slowly phased out.
1	1	Matt Elliott	Back under the gun after a loss. Tension below the surface.
0.5	0.5	Graham Murray	Cowboys now winning but he is a week-to-week proposition.
0	0	Nathan Brown	The Cowboys put another nail into Brown's coffin.

 

The Colin Best Express Fan Revue…The entertainer was at his delightful best on Sunday afternoon, sending the crowd into delirium with a high risk, Phil Sigsworth-like pass near his own tryline. The pass was high and appeared off the mark but the Colin Best Express is rarely wrong and the pass dropped into the hands of fullback Bronx Goodwin. CBE also used the “crumple run” to great effect, ensuring the legacy of the Boss family from their days playing in the blue, yellow and red of SJS lives on.

Round Five in 2000…This is not a round remembered fondly by Dragons fans as the Storm racked up their biggest ever score, putting the Dragons to the sword 70-10 at the Melbourne Cricket Ground…Tasesa Lavea scored 24 points for the Storm while “Big Red” Lance Thompson kicked 1/1 for the Dragons…Ryan Cross led the Roosters to a 22-2 victory over the Northern Eagles with a double…The Raiders messed the Auckland Warriors up at Bruce, winning 56-12 after doubles to Brett Mullins, Laurie Daley and Lesley Vainikolo…Amusing try-scorers from the weekend included Danny Williams (Melbourne), Lee Hookey (Dragons), Ben Kusto (Parramatta), Graham Appo (Cowboys) and Tony Tumivave (Warriors)…No field goals were kicked.

Game of the Year Nomination, Round 5…Canberra-Wests Tigers, 30-24…it was a miraculous comeback from the Raiders who trailed 24-10 at the break, a victory of courage and commitment…and a fine way to celebrate the classic 1989 Grand Final, as was the billing of the Bruce Stadium clash.

Great Canterbury Backrower of Yesteryear…Darren Smith…Smith personified the Bulldogs ethos of hard work and intelligent football and though he went to Brisbane, he returned home to the open arms of the Bulldogs fanbase…the headgear only added to his aura.

Fantasy Players of the Week…Todd Carney, Feleti Mateo, Kurt Gidley, Craig Fitzgibbon, Billy Slater, Liam Fulton, Nathan Hindmarsh, Scott Prince, Andrew Ryan, Ryan Hoffman.

Surprise Fantasy Players of the Week…Chris Heighington (now officially a top grade fantasy backrower), Luke Lewis, Adrian Purtell, Nathan Friend, Michael Ennis, Chris Houston, Brett Hodgson.

Rebecca Wilson-Danny Wiedler, Scorecard…A wild weekend that included a marriage and at least three bottles of wine and a bottle of vodka saved me from the usually unsubstantiated rumours of the gossipmonger scene.

And One Final Thought…There have been talks of expansion in recent times, bought about by the AFL’s attempted purge of Western Sydney. At this stage, NRL expansion would be foolish. While the Central Coast certainly deserves a team and it would be wonderful to again see rugby league in Perth, there simply isn’t the talent to stretch across eighteen teams. This is particularly true of halves. The NRL cannot possibly expand when a player like Jeremy Smith is considered a first grade halfback and has played the majority of games this season. He redefines ineptitude. Presumably, if the NRL was to expand, there would be worse players than Smith controlling teams. At this stage, expansion simply is not viable.