Season 2009: Rounds 1 and 2

From The Couch

Is NRL Headquarters Sydney’s Newest Crack Den? The NRL has again made the wrong decision in deducting Canterbury two competition points for fielding fourteen players in the dying moments of their clash with Penrith. Canterbury at one stage had fourteen players on the field though at no point were all involved with Michael Ennis down in back-play. During this period the Bulldogs scored the winning try but at no point were fourteen players offered at the defensive line. The NRL’s decision to take the competition points off the Bulldogs is grossly over-the-top and without precedent. Once again the Bulldogs are on the receiving end of the NRL’s inconsistent hand. One need only hark back to 2004 when the NRL attempted to strip the Broncos of two competition points before backing down under threats of legal action. Someone at the NRL is smoking crack. The Bulldogs have been treated unfairly and Todd Greenberg should play a heavy hand to ensure the club keeps the points it rightfully won in a thrilling victory over Penrith.

Double Down: Two weeks in and it must be said that the two-referee system has made the game much more watchable and extremely less frustrating. While more penalties are being blown, the game has been sped up and more importantly there is less interference from those unaccountable fools known as video referees. No longer are knock-on decisions overturned when a scrum is about to pack. No longer is every try scrutinised for an inexplicable length of time with the aim being to find a reason why the try should not be awarded. While there have been some appalling mistakes with the most obvious being the decision to award Brisbane the winning try despite an obvious knock-on from Aaron Gorrell, overall the game is a much better spectacle for the viewer and a much more fairly officiated game for the players and coaches.

Rumour of the Week: That a prominent Roosters player was caught with Old Uncle Charlie and that he threatened to out two other Rooster identities with a fondness for blowing with the wind if he was punished by the club.

Shut It Down: The Golden Try. There appears to be moves afoot to get rid of the golden point and establish a golden try rule. What an abomination such a rule change would be. For starters, what is wrong with the draw? If two teams are equal after eighty minutes, let them split the points. Playing until a point is scored adds nothing to the drama. At least with golden point, the field goal finally takes centre stage with drop goals raining down all over the shop. It is a delightful sight even if it occurs during a fundamentally absurd part of the match. The field goal, however, seems to have some enemies with a number of people in the game pushing for a golden try to be established. So while the field goal would count in the 79th minute, it would not in the 81st. That makes perfect sense! The argument for golden point has always been to find a winner yet the argument for the golden try is that two legitimate point-scoring methods (the field goal and the penalty goal) no longer count in extra-time. The anti-field goal-ites are at it again. Shut It Down! No more talk about golden point unless the reason is to scrap the concept of extra-time altogether.

The Fields of Omagh Award: Stacey Jones. Age certainly doesn’t appear to have caught up with the mercurial Warriors halfback. Jones, in his first NRL match in three seasons, was the difference against Manly, setting up two tries to guide the Warriors to victory at Brookvale Oval against the premiers. It was a trademark Jones performance where the little maestro mixed control and off-the-cuff brilliance. He is just the player this Warriors team needs and if they are to go deep into September it will be on his back. Just like the grand old warrior Fields of Omagh, Jones loses nothing as the days pass on by.

Oh Errol: Four spunky girls who love their league so much that they have decided to blog about it. I think I may be in love. I am, at the very least, in the early stages of a severe crush. Kiki, Sassy, Lozzy and Marlo are the Oh Errol girls and they are a must read for all those interested in a light hearted look at all things rugby league. They talk the game, tipping, fantasy (oh, a girl who loves her fantasy…it has been a fantasy of mine for many years), life, love, sex, cocktails and the high-end liability that is Ashton Sims. They have even canonised David Williams, these days their patron saint. If Polygamy was legal, these would be the girls for me. This week Sassy talks Goldie Hawn, “Wildcats” and her newly formed fantasy team while Madame Lozzy gets the tarot cards out for her round three predictions. It comes highly recommended that you check out www.oherrol.com and while you’re there, put in the good word for me.

Fun Fact #1: Jamal Idris loves country and western music making him possibly the first half-Nigerian/half-aboriginal to love the same.

Fun Fact #2: Roosters five-eighth Ben Jones is possibly the first red-headed aboriginal to play first grade.

Fun Fact #3: The retirement of Raiders forward Ben Jones due to injury robbed us of the first name duel in the NRL since the Jeremy Smith-Jeremy Smith battles of years gone by.

Coaching Stocks:

Value	LY	Coach	Comment
5.0	5.0	Craig Bellamy	Still the king of Melbourne and was unlucky not to have them 2-0 after the Storm were robbed against Brisbane.
5.0	4.5	Wayne Bennett	Revered as a god at the Dragons already, he has started 1-1 and toughened the team up immeasurably.
4.5	2.5	Ivan Cleary	The Warriors are playing exciting, winning football. He has recruited well and developed the right tactics. On the up.
4.0	4.5	Neil Henry	Seems to have the Cowboys firing though his worth will be found once injuries hit.
4.0	4.0	Brian Smith	His stamp is now on Newcastle and they recorded their most courageous win in years on Monday night.
4.0	*	Ivan Henjak	Two wins from two matches including one over the Storm. Tough to argue against that.
4.0	*	Kevin Moore	He looks like the next Chris Anderson. His recruitment has been first rate and Utai to the NSW Cup was genius.
3.0	4.5	Des Hasler	Back-to-back losses, internal dissatisfaction and a board that won’t commit to him has seen Hasler's stock fall.
3.0	2.0	Tim Sheens	Got the Aussie gig which he deserved but he needs to work on the Tigers fringe defence.
3.0	*	Daniel Anderson	Tough and uncompromising, he may have added some discipline to a reckless and loose Eels team.
2.5	2.5	John Cartwright	A win at home, a loss on the road. This is a very similar tome to last year.
2.5	0.0	Jason Tayler	Looked a genius after week one but his refusal to start Wing and his selection of Corrigan are ridiculous.
2.0	4.0	Ricky Stewart	Recruited poorly and has failed to fix the Sharks attacking deficiencies. He could be on the hot seat soon.
2.0	*	David Furner	Two losses including a home humiliation to the Roosters. Did he learn a lot from Neil Henry? Hmmm…we will see.
1.5	2.0	Brad Fittler	Shocking first round loss. The Jake Friend incident. Nasty rumours surrounding his behaviour. He could go and soon.
-1.0	-3.5	Matt Elliot	"Dead man walking, dead man walking"

 

Game of the Year Nomination Round 1: Melbourne-St.George-Illawarra, 17-16. An extra-time special in Wayne Bennett’s first game in charge of the Dragons, the Storm showed they still have the skill to compete with the best while the Dragons displayed their newfound toughness. The highlight of the game was Wendell Sailor’s amazing dash that had me, for a brief second, believing it was 1997. Sailor set up the try that sent the game into golden point where Greg Inglis calmly slotted the winning one-pointer.

Game of the Year Nomination Round 2: Manly-Warriors, 24-26. This was a see-sawing battle that was outstanding for a round two match. Manly looked to have recovered from their horror opening week by establishing a 10-0 lead before the Warriors clawed back to take a 16-10 half-time lead. Manly again jumped from the blocks and led 24-16 with 21 minutes to go and held that lead until there were only 11 minutes on the clock. And then a champion stepped up. Stacey Jones, out of rugby league for eighteen months and out of the NRL for three seasons, took the game by the scruff of the neck and drove the Warriors to the tied score. Denan Kemp dually gave the New Zealand team the win with a classy conversion. The match had it all: points, hits, storylines and drama. This is a red-hot contender to take out the game of the year award.

What did Shane Rodney do this week? He was again misused by Des Hasler, playing 26 minutes from the bench. In those 26 minutes Rodney managed to injure his eye, putting him on the sidelines for a fortnight. Rodney will most likely find out he has a critical eye disease that will render him blind by round twelve, such is the luck of our man. Poor Sugar Shane.

The Colin Best Express Fan Revue: Oh, how the Canberra Raiders could use Colin Best now. The Raiders, the attacking force of 2008, went within a minute of playing three scoreless halves and recording their first zero-pointer at Canberra Stadium in club history. Old CBE certainly wouldn’t have stood for that.

The Wright Stache: Some young chaps in New York have set up a website to get Mets third baseman David Wright to grow a moustache. What a wonderful idea, promoting facial hair in sport. Fans can support the cause at http://www.thewrightstache.com/. This, naturally, has encouraged me to further promote facial hair in rugby league. And who better to start with than the Colin Best Express. He would look like a 1980’s airline pilot with a furry top lip and that can only be a positive. To make this happen, write to South Sydney immediately, set up a website, print masks, steal his razors, petition his local MP. Do everything. A hairless CBE is probably no CBE at all. A Fu Manchu for David Stagg, a Genghis Khan for Trevor Thurling, a Pencil for Anthony Quinn, a Hungarian for Michael Weyman, a Walrus for Brett Kimmorley and a Handlebar Club Tie for Chris Heighington should also be advocated.

Thems Were The Days: 1986 was maybe the last great year for the field goal, primarily thanks to one of its greatest proponents, Neil Baker. Playing for South Sydney at the time, Baker kicked 20 of his 45 career field goals in what was a brilliant display of a dying art. Baker’s twenty field goals in 1986 is the most since the value of the field goal dropped from two to one in 1971 after Eric Simms averaged twenty a season from 1967-1970. Baker kicked a one-pointer in 15 of his 24 games that season, not going longer than three weeks without slotting one. He had multiple field goal games in round one against St. George, round ten against Canberra (three that day), round twelve against Manly and round twenty-five against Manly. On the day he kicked three field goals against Canberra, Souths won 10-8 with Craig Coleman also adding a drop goal. His last field goal of the season came against Balmain in an elimination final. Souths lost 36-11.

Neil Baker, probably about to kick the bollocks out of that piece of leather.

Fantasy Team of the Week:

1. Matt Bowen (NQ)
2. Michael Bani (Man)
3. Brent Tate (War)
4. Jamie Lyon (Man)
5. Shaun Kenny-Dowall (Roo)
6. Travis Burns (NQ)
7. Mitchell Pearce (Roo)
13. David Stagg (Cant)
12. Bronson Harrison (Can)
11. Trent Waterhouse (Pen)
10. Steve Price (War)
9. Robbie Farah (Tig)
8. Petero Civoniceva (Pen)

Geurie Greens Update: The Geurie Green recorded a big victory over the Pooncarie Prophets this week to go to 2-0 in 2008. David Stagg pulled out a monster game with a try, a try assist and 53 tackles while Steve Price was at his dominating best with plenty of metres and a couple of try assists thrown in for good measure. Dean Collis was abysmal on the bench and may have played his last game for the club while Steve Simpson’s injury has put him on very thin ice. The Greens this week take on arch-rivals the Otford Orangemen and have benefited no end from Justin Hodges' one-week suspension.

What I Hate About Rebecca Wilson this Week: Her gossip column in the Sunday Telegraph led with an entire paragraph devoted to whether Phil Gould goes to a beauty therapist with an accompanying picture of Gould tanned and not tanned. Wow. Thank you Rebecca for your fine contribution to the world of sportswriting. A Pulitzer Prize is surely just around the corner for this untalented and irritating “journalist”.

Watch It: How I Met Your Mother. Any show with Doogie Howser M.D on it is a-ok with me, particularly when it is funny as hell and has a cast of characters that include a gun-loving Canadian newsreader and a Minnesotan who loves the Loch Ness Monster. Watch it.