Season 2010: Round 10

From The Couch

Bob McCarthy Knows Nothing About Rugby League: Well done, Bob McCarthy. You have handed Queensland another series. With your stupidity, your lack of rugby league understanding and your downright stubbornness, you have selected a team that would not beat a New South Wales second seventeen let alone Queensland. For the sake of sport, here is a second seventeen who would beat the Blues team by 30:

1. Josh Dugan
2. Chris Lawrence
3. Josh Morris
4. Michael Jennings
5. Luke Burt
6. Terry Campese
7. Jamie Soward
13. Paul Gallen
12. Anthony Laffranchi
11. Nathan Hindmarsh
10. Luke Douglas
9. Robbie Farah
8. Kade Snowden

14. Tim Grant
15. Luke Stuart
16. Dean Young
17. Todd Carney

Now what is the difference between that list of Blues players not selected and the team that was? The second team is well balanced. It has two long kickers and three playmakers. It has players who can play big minutes. It has size up front. It has in-form players. It has a workhorse element. This second seventeen would jump at 1.6 against the Blues team.

Compare that to the joke of a team selected by Bob McCarthy. McCarthy, in all his wisdom and defying the advice he was given by this author less than two weeks back, has stayed loyal to a New South Wales team that won a meaningless game three last year. That victory came against a Queensland team who spent the week drinking and indulging in the home made cocktail of Red Bull and Stilnox. That makes sense. Stick true to a team that snuck home against a team that spent the week jacked to the eyeballs, chasing skirt and knocking back kebabs. Let’s not worry about picking a team on form or with any semblance of an identity. Let’s pick the Stilnox beaters.

This is a near-impossible tirade to write as finding a starting point is downright difficult. So let’s start from the worst and work our way in.

As always, a complete botched colostomy was made of the halves. Brett Kimmorley has had, at best, two good games this year and has clearly been struggling to guide the Bulldogs around the park. Jamie Lyon is a top notch centre who looks out of place every time he is stuck in the six jersey because he is not a ball-player or a kicker. The Blues again have no kicking game and no support in the playmaking role for the halfback.

The prop rotation is a disgrace. The Blues are lacking size, work ethic and durability up front. Mick Weyman picked himself. The other three selections are disgraceful. Brett White has played a mere 131 minutes this year, making 51 tackles and missing 5 and averaging less than 100 metres a game. That makes Tom Learoyd-Lars’ workrate look positively outstanding with Tommy Large going at 81.5 metres and 17 tackles a game while he bludges out on the Raiders fringes. Josh Perry is a pillow who constantly gets thrown around and after Monday night he can be added to the John Morris All-Stars. Luke Douglas, Luke Stuart, Kade Snowden, Tim Grant and any number of others can consider themselves very hard done by but none would be surprised they were overlooked for a cadre of lazy fools who are picked because they are “big”. I get the idea that Bob McCarthy picks “big” players because they are the kinds of boys he fancies….there is, of course, no evidence of any fondness for big boys on the part of McCarthy but some sense needs to be made of his insistence on picking big players over good ones…

The bench is ridiculous. Why start Gidley and then play Lewis and Idris on the bench? So the Blues have started a utility and played a utility and a specialist centre on the bench. The only reason they have played Idris on the bench is so the team can be completely reshuffled when he is put on: Idris to centre, Tahu to a wing, Hayne to fullback, Gidley to hooker or half. That is healthy. Shift everybody out of position. Lewis’s role is anybody’s guess.

The backrow they have just made a mess of. What has Anthony Laffranchi done wrong? He, along with Paul Gallen who was also overlooked, are the only backrowers going at 100 metres and 33-plus tackles a game. Laffranchi is tough and uncompromising and perfectly suited to Origin. He can play middle or fringe and has the kind of toughness not seen in Watmough, Waterhouse and Creagh. Creagh is a fair selection due to his fringe running but the other two are very lucky. Watmough is equal 5th in the NRL with 17 errors in only 10 games while Waterhouse just doesn’t really do much.

Michael Jennings was robbed of a position. If the selectors were adamant on playing Lyon at five-eighth then Jennings needed to be picked in the centres. It is a disgrace that a code traitor like Timana Tahu, who should have been banned from rep football for life, gets the nod ahead of an exciting young talent like Jennings. Blues selectors have once again fallen for the myth that we need big centres to combat Queensland’s backline. A bit of size wouldn’t hurt but we are beaten predominantly through speed and the fact we choose body types over footballers.

Bob McCarthy, once again you and your brain-dead selectors have fucked it up beyond recognition. Well done. Go Queensland. My money will be on a Maroons sweep. The only think stopping it will be a carton or Red Bull and a bunch of pills.

An Absolute Disgrace: Rob Moodie and the independent Storm directors who have filed a writ and are seeking to have the penalties handed down by the NRL overturned through the courts after the club admitted the severity of their cheating is a disgrace of the highest order and will prove a blight on the game for many months to come yet. News Limited, owner of the Storm and an organisation completely opposed to legal action, should fire all four immediately. Moodie is not denying that systemic salary cap cheating was rampant in the Storm for many years. He is not denying that the Storm had in place a clear system to break the rules and gain an advantage over the 15 other clubs. Moodie admitted as much when he met Gallop and the penalty was handed down on that infamous Thursday afternoon a month back. Moodie subsequently offered his resignation, an offer that was rejected by News Limited. I’m sure John Hartigan regrets not sending this joker packing now. It is clear that Moodie and his cohorts are trying to get the penalties overturned on a technicality, proclaiming the club was denied natural justice. As David Gallop rightly said, the Storm waived their rights for a trial by admitting to serious breaches of the salary cap rules. Gallop has called Moodie’s decision to take the League to court as outrageous. It is. I have been a supporter of rugby league in Melbourne for many years and I have felt a great deal of sympathy for Storm supporters and players but this parochialism, this movement that the throwing out of the Storm was driven by a Sydney hatred of Melbourne, is as stupid as it is absurd and it is exactly the push that is driving these idiot directors who are now trying to drag the game through court. And you can be sure and certain that this is going to get messy, particularly with a number of on-going investigations going on. There will be the sordid revelations of personal financial records of Storm players, David Gallop and the Storm board. Communications will be examined. The News Limited legal and media machine will be whipped into motion. And it will be the game that suffers. Rob Moodie is a clown and so are the rest of these fools. The quicker that News Limited brings the hammer down firmly on the heads of these jokers, the better off we all will be.

NRL Players Race: Bringing back memories of the infamous Martin Offiah-Lee Oudenryn sprint nearly twenty years ago, a battle to find the fastest man in the NRL is set to take place in mid-September as part of the 10-year anniversary celebrations for Stadium Australia. It is a fabulous idea with the likes of Michael Jennings, Akuila Uate, Jarryd Hayne and the Morris brothers all set to take part if their respective teams are eliminated from the NRL season. The only shame of the idea is that it is unlikely to be broadcast. What the NRL should do is bring back the Grand Final sprint with the fastest player at each club lining up for a 100 metre race in the lead-up to the decider. It would provide great fun and is a little more entertaining than watching Jet belt out some rubbish. By the by, word is that Offiah took a dive in the race with Oudenryn with plenty of money unofficially changing hands on the race.

Sam Burgess: The NRL would be well advised to ensure Sam Burgess is available for England’s Test against France midyear regardless of South Sydney’s want to keep him in Australia. Burgess has been a major drawcard this year and it has been a wonderful attraction having Englishmen like Burgess and Gareth Ellis playing in the NRL. Many other prospects may not consider a move to Australia, however, if they are going to be prevented from playing Test matches and representing their country. It is ridiculously short-sighted to allow such a move. The NRL needs to listen to the RLIF and promote Test match football as the pinnacle of the sport for the long term health of the code worldwide.

How Ordinary are the Sharks Going? Well, the fabled Panthers left-hand side of Adrian Purtell and Shane Elford tore the Sharks to shreds. Shane Elford even ran for a 70-metre intercept try. Wow. The Sharks are incredibly awful. Slow and disorganised, dumb and defensively unaware, 2010 just goes from bad to worse.

Rumours of the Week: It looks like Mark Gasnier may not be at the Dragons this year. Due to salary cap issues, it is believed Gasnier will try and sign a deal with either Newcastle or Cronulla before joining the Saints next season. It is believed this will be the only way the Dragons will waive their right to first crack at him. The mail has it that Israel Folau is having second thoughts about rugby union and may sign on with the Broncos in the next few weeks. Greg Inglis may join Folau at Brisbane with the Broncos reportedly leading the race ahead of eight other NRL clubs, rugby union, AFL and allegedly the NFL with the Oakland Raiders apparently on the verge of making him an offer. At his current size, that will probably be an offer to play on the offensive line. Inglis looks at least 10kg overweight. Word that Josh Dugan is going to walk out on the Raiders because of his dislike of CEO Don Furner and coach David Furner has the Raiders board reconsidering the future of both. Neither have excelled at their job and the prospect of losing their most talented junior since Brett Mullins surely has them ready to move. There is one off contract player from a non-Sydney club who will not be moving back to Sydney due to an apparent penchant for ladies from a well-known establishment where he would, on occasion, spend the entire night.

Fun Fact #1: 64 players with NRL experience went around in the NSW Cup last weekend including 21 players who have played 20-plus NRL games, 8 players (Wade McKinnon, Joel Moon, Brad Morrin, Luke MacDougall, Garret Crossman, Brad Tighe, Gavin Cooper and Nigel Plum) with 50-plus NRL games and 1 player (Wade McKinnon) with 100-plus NRL games. [Note: MacDougall and Cooper actually got NRL call-ups on the weekend].

Fun Fact #2: Windsor led the way with 10 players with NRL experience while Shellharbour and Central Coast had only 1 apiece with Sione Tovo of the Central Coast having played only 1 NRL match. Three Windsor players have not played in the NRL since 2006: Craig Trindall, Adam Schubert and Steve Meredith.

Fun Fact #3: Five NSW Cup coaches played first grade football with Wentworthville coach Brett Kenny (Parramatta, ’80-’93) leading the way with 264 games ahead of Cronulla’s Tony Herman (Newcastle, 48 games), Western Suburbs’ Leo Epifania (Wests, Illawarra, 24 games), North Sydney’s Wayne Lambkin (Wests, 18 games) and Canterbury’s Justin Holbrook (Newcastle, Penrith, Roosters, 17 games).

Fun Fact #4: 2008 Storm Grand Finalist Russell Aitken, who also played in the World Club Championship, is currently riding the pine for Newtown.

Fun Fact #5: 47 players with NRL experience went around in the Queensland Cup last weekend including 23 players with 20-plus NRL games, 14 players (Ty Williams, Steve Michaels, Jaiman Lowe, Brenton Bowen, Luke O’Dwyer, Ben Harris, Shane Muspratt, Darren Mapp, Danny Galea, Paul Stephenson, Marshall Chalk, Aaron Cannings, Riley Brown and Shane Perry) and 2 players (Ty Williams, Danny Galea) with 100-plus NRL games.

Fun Fact #6: Souths Logan and Tweed Heads led the way with 6 players with NRL experience while the Norths Devils had only 1 player with NRL experience.

Fun Fact #7: Seven Queensland Cup coaches played first grade football including Ipswich’s Glenn Lazarus and Wynnum Manly’s Paul Green, both of whom played for Australia. Lazarus led the way with 254 games for Canberra, Brisbane and Melbourne ahead of Paul Green (Cronulla, Cowboys, Roosters, Parramatta, Brisbane, 162 games), the Sunshine Coast’s Brandon Costin (Souths, Wests, Roosters, Canberra, 136 games), Burleigh’s Mark Gee (Gold Coast, 38 games), Tweed Heads’ Ben Anderson (Melbourne, 17 games), Norths Devils’ Kevin Carmichael (Crushers, Melbourne, 9 games) and the Northern Pride’s Dave Maiden (Cowboys, 2 games).

Fun Fact Match-Up:

NSW Cup: Wade McKinnon (131), Geoff Daniela (23), Brad Tighe (89), Joel Moon (61), Luke MacDougall (66), Josh Lewis (25), Scott Porter (15), Garret Crossman (65), Stuart Flanagan (26), Brad Morrin (52), Gavin Cooper (77), Lewis Brown (21), Nigel Plum (61) Bench: Chase Stanley (41), Sione Kite (9), Luke Capewell (23), Lee Te Maari (35) Coach: Brett Kenny (264)

QLD Cup: David Milne (45), Ty Williams (144), Justin Carney (20), Josh Graham (49), Steve Michaels (59), Richie Williams (12), Shane Perry (57), Paul Stephenson (55), Terrence Seu Seu (44), Jaiman Lowe (98), Danny Galea (101), Alan Rothery (25), Ben Harris (79) Bench: Luke O’Dwyer (73), James Stosic (35), Darren Mapp (66), Aaron Cannings (95) Coach: Glenn Lazarus (254)

Betting: QLD Cup 1.7, NSW Cup 2.15

Expansion: The Central Coast Bears this week made another push for inclusion in the NRL with a march to the Roosters-Newcastle match on Saturday. There will be an argument come through when the push gets stronger that there is not the depth of talent in the game to support an additional team or two. A quick look at the talent available in the NSW and Queensland Cups along with the talent available in the Toyota Cup and the incredible numbers of Australian players in the English Super League clearly shows the NRL is capable of supporting two more teams in terms of talent. Whether the game can support them financially is another issue but I would imagine that will not be a problem after the next television deal. The NRL needs to look at teams on the Central Coast and in Perth and it needs to make provisions for expansion in the next deal. We have the talent and it should be on display for us all to see.

Willie M Medal Votes: Highlighting those who have hurt their teams, embarrassed their parents, become an eyesore for supporters and a liability for the game.

Brisbane-Gold Coast	3-Joseph Tomane (GC)
	2-Preston Campbell (GC)
	1-Sam Tagataese (GC)
Canterbury-Dragons	3-Mickey Paea (Bul)
	2-Dene Halatau (Bul)
	1-Steve Turner (Bul)
Cowboys-Warriors	3-John Williams (NQ)
	2-Manu Vatuvei (War)
	1-Willie Mason (NQ)
Canberra-Melbourne	3-Jarrod Croker (Can)
	2-Travis Waddell (Can)
	1-Josh McCrone (Can)
Roosters-Newcastle	3-Ben Jones (Roo)
	2-James Aubusson (Roo)
	1-Mitch Aubusson (Roo)
Tigers-Souths	3-Benji Marshall (Tig)
	2-Robert Lui (Tig)
	1-Bryce Gibbs (Tig)
Cronulla-Penrith	3-Tim Smith (Cro)
	2-Blake Ferguson (Cro)
	1-Anthony Tupou (Cro)
Manly-Parramatta	3-Chris Bailey (Man)
	2-Anthony Watmough (Man)
	1-Glenn Stewart (Man)
Leaderboard	10-Chris Sandow (Sou), Joseph Tomane (GC)
	8-Greg Bird (GC), Preston Campbell (GC), Todd Carney (Roo), Denan Kemp (Brs), Josh McCrone (Can)
	7-Trent Barrett (Cro), James Maloney (War), Ben Roberts (Bul)
	6-Scott Dureau (New), Bryce Gibbs (Tig), Eric Grothe (Par), Albert Kelly (Cro), Ben Pomeroy (Cro), Steve Simpson (New), Peter Wallace (Brs)

 

Power Rankings:

Rank	Team	Record	Last Week	High	Low
1	Dragons	8-2	1	1	2
2	Gold Coast	7-3	3	2	5
3	Penrith	6-3	4	3	11
4	Parramatta	5-4	5	3	13
5	Manly	6-4	2	2	10
6	Souths	5-4	7	6	16
7	Canterbury	3-6	9	5	10
8	West Tigers	4-5	6	3	8
9	Roosters	5-5	8	4	9
10	Brisbane	4-6	11	7	15
11	Newcastle	4-6	14	10	14
12	Warriors	4-5	13	7	13
13	Canberra	3-7	10	10	15
14	Cowboys	3-7	12	12	14
15	Cronulla	2-7	15	12	15
*	Melbourne	7-3	*	*	*

 

Where Would the Storm Be If: The Storm would be second on the premiership ladder, just ahead of Penrith on for and against. They are not, however, and now they are in the court rooms of Melbourne hideously laying another blow on the game. If the players and the coaching staff publicly support this move, they will lose plenty of public support including the push of this column.

Game of the Year Nomination, Round 10: Manly-Parramatta, 12-19. This fiery match lived up to its expected intensity with a blistering affair at Brookvale Oval. The rains bucketed down in the lead-up but it did little to dampen a hard hitting affair. Steve Matai was his usual ballistic self, launching himself like a missile. Some of it came off. Some of it didn’t. He should have been sent to the bin for walking away from the referee when being cautioned three times. He put in a dumb kick to finish the match. But he hit hard and he scored a try and was heavily involved. And, of course, he was injured like he is in very match he ever plays in. He now has a new nickname: The Hypochondriac. Jarryd Hayne was outstanding with a long kicking game, soft hands and an attempted meaningless field goal. Luke Burt was the best player on the field with a football intelligence rarely exhibited by 99% of the players in league. His kick for the Jeff Robson match-winner showed outstanding vision and calm. Matt Ballin, Trent Hodkinson and Brent Kite were all good for Manly but the loss of Kieran Foran proved critical. The video refereeing of Steven Clark was again ridiculous with Tony Williams and Tom Humble both denied tries that should have been awarded under the ruling benefit of the doubt doctrine. A top class defensive encounter.

Exchanges with Fisk:

Tedeschi on Dene Halatau: “You can have him back just quietly.”

Fisk on Dene Halatau: “Ha. You got him and Corey Payne. Hoodwinked there.”

Tedeschi on getting Hoodwinked: “And that useless prick Mickey Paea.”

Tedeschi on Raiders: “They were garbage.”

Fisk in response: “So were the video refs.*$#+’s”

Fisk on Robert Lui: “Very Martin Bella. And you know as well as anyone how that works out.”

Fisk on the Tigers attitude: “It’s not ability, its hunger. They did not seem to care.”

Fisk on the reason for the poor Tigers chemistry: “Farah. They all hate him. Benji is way more popular.”

Tedeschi on Farah: “He fucks with their structure with his jinking out of dummy half, his cross-field running and his stupid exaggerated dummies.”

Stats from the Penguin: Ben Pomeroy has played in 95 first grade matches. His teams have won only 36 of those matches at a strike rate of 37.9%. He has never scored a try against Brisbane, the Roosters or Cronulla. He was born on a Tuesday.

The Queanbeyan Kangaroos 2010 Campaign: The Canberra Raiders Cup was put on hold over the weekend as the Canberra representative team travelled to Newcastle to take on Illawarra in the semi-finals of the AAMI Country Championships. Illawarra went into the match heavily favoured but survived a late Canberra comeback to take the chocolates by two points. The Kangaroos had three players selected in skipper Gorrell, fullback Watt and centre Robinson but none could play due to other commitments. This week the Roos play the undefeated North Belconnen Sharks in what is sure to be a monster match.

Coaching Stocks:

Wayne Bennett [5] Gutted it out in true Bennett fashion against the Bulldogs. Dragons are clearly the best team.

Des Hasler [4] Would have been disappointed with the lack of execution from Manly. Loss of Foran fair excuse.

Craig Bellamy [4] Got the money against the Raiders but it is his role in the Storm legal action that is interesting.

Matt Elliott [3.5] The Panthers seem to be doing everything right at the moment. Good injury run though.

Kevin Moore [3.5] Execution was a worry but they were playing the Dragons and commitment was fine.

John Cartwright [3] The Titans were ordinary on Friday. Spectre of salary cap drama looming large.

Daniel Anderson [3] Huge win at Brookie. Eels ticking over nicely and they seem to be okay throughout Origin.

John Lang [2.5] Probably Souths most impressive win since returning to the comp. Huge.

Brian Smith [2] Awful effort against Knights team ripe for the picking. Very inconsistent.

Tim Sheens [1.5] Embarrassing beyond words. Worst performance from a team all year.

Ivan Henjak [1] Campaign back on track. Broncos have hit a run of form. Origin will test though.

David Furner [0.5] Shocking effort The fact he is rumoured to be driving out Dugan docks him further.

Rick Stone [0.5] Knights are capable of a bit but no consistency. Big win over Roosters though. Rogers move ok.

Neil Henry [0] If the Cowboys do not lift then his job will come into question very soon.

Ivan Cleary [-3] Warriors showed flashes of brilliance but again couldn’t put in an 80 minute effort.

Ricky Stuart [-3.5] Tried hard but again severely outclassed.

Obscure Score of the Week: Halifax-Barrow, 46-24. Fax had a big and much needed win against Barrow, 3rd on the Co-operative Championship ladder, on the back of a monster game from the (possibly literally) ageless Stanley Gene. The PNG legend, who has been part of the English rugby league scene since 1995 and whose age is estimated to be between 34 and 58 with most splitting the difference and settling on 44, scoring a try to lead the Fax to a win at The Shay. The win pushed Halifax above Barrow on the ladder and within striking distance of the second placed Featherstone Rovers. It was Gene’s 145th career try in England.

Fantasy Team of the Week:

1. Kurt Gidley (New)
2. Akuila Uate (New)
3. Israel Folau (Brs)
4. Greg Inglis (Mel)
5. Nathan Merritt (Sou)
6. John Sutton (Sou)
7. Todd Carney (Roo)
13. Corey Parker (Brs)
12. Dave Taylor (Sou)
11. Ben Lowe (Sou)
10. Luke Douglas (Cro)
9. Issac Luke (Sou)
8. Dan Hunt (Dra)

Waiver Wire Advice: Some key injuries have opened up some positions for a few cheap players this week that at worst will have starting potential for the next month and at best could hold onto their starting gig. The injury to Roy Asotasi and the Origin duties of Dave Taylor (who I would suggest will struggle to back up) makes Scott Geddes a very good play at only $176k. He is going at 35 this year but his numbers will jack up some over the next few weeks. The Wests Tigers Mark Flanagan and Geoff Daniela are two more. Flanagan will almost certainly start with Fulton and Payten out hurt. He is a workhorse who at $159k can be expected to score 50-plus over the next month. Daniela is a bit more of a risk but I anticipate he will replace the injured Blake Ayshford He is only $122k and should get starters numbers for a period.

Lazy Long Bay Days, Part 11: Sam Isemonger, Tony Caine and Adam Peek visited Chris in prison. They presented him with the game ball from his debut against the Cowboys in 2007 in an attempt to cheer him up. Chris went through the motions and was grateful for the gift. As he was walking back to his cell, however, an inmate known as Tattoo Head Tony sliced the ball and then whispered into Houston’s ear: “You’re next.”

Watch It: We are veering away from rugby league this week to talk about one of the greatest and most thrilling sporting events of the last century: the final frame of the 1985 World Snooker Championships between Steve Davis and Dennis Taylor, Click Here It is a thrilling finish and one that for many years was the highest rated sporting event in British history and was named the 9th greatest moment in British sporting history. No post-midnight show has ever rated higher. Nobody could sink the black. It was tense, thrilling, gut-wrenching. And that is to say nothing of Dennis Taylor’s spectacles. If you haven’t seen this then do yourself a favour and watch one of the great sporting moments in history. Even the celebration is worth recalling. You have to love a good finger waggle.

Correspondence Corner: “Dear Nick. Wha’ happened? Where was the ‘Exchanges with Fisk’ last week? He is the star of your two-bit column and now you are trying to bury the big burly redhead. Get him back. He is a star, the wisest man in league, a true genius.” That letter was sent to me by an M. Fisk of Sydney. Thanks Fisk. Unfortunately, due to the fallibility of technology and my inability to retrieve messages, telephone numbers and virtually anything off what is now nothing more than a paperweight, contacting Fisk was not happening. So for all you Fisky fans, look above. The big man is back. And he is as wise as ever.