Season 2010: Round 16

From The Couch

History Always Repeats South of the Tweed: The best player in a Blue jersey in Origin II was Nathan Hindmarsh. He, of course, was dropped by these pigfucker selectors who have no idea. Hindmarsh should be captain of the team. Instead he will be watching from home. Hindmarsh only played 68 minutes, made 38 tackles, missed only one and didn’t drop the ball or concede a penalty. When Billy Slater made a bust after cleaning up a Brett Morris chip kick, Hindmarsh was there in cover to save the try. His reward was being dropped from the team.

Tom Learoyd-Lars, of course, survived. Despite turning in a shocker for the Raiders on Monday night and an abysmal performance in Origin II, his maintained his position. Why not? He is one of the chosen ones, the selected few who are untouchable.

It makes plenty of sense to not only keep Trent Barrett at five-eighth but name him captain when he is retiring at the end of the season. There is plenty of long-term vision there. The Blues don’t want to take a gamble. Seemingly there is no worse time to roll the dice than when there is nothing to lose. Jamie Soward was again overlooked so the director of the worst attack in the NRL can get a farewell game like he is Andrew Johns or Brad Fittler.

Anthony Laffranchi and Chris Heighington were again snubbed. The Blues selectors decided New South Wales don’t need any workers. Chris Heighington should go and play for England. At least he will get a fair go over there. Craig Bellamy finally managed to get his boy Greg Bird in the team ahead of Laffranchi and Heighington, two actual backrowers playing in the backrow in 2010. And of course Tom Learoyd-Lars was kept ahead of both Laffranchi and Heighington. Sure he doesn’t tackle as much and he isn’t as effective a ball runner and he doesn’t even break the line as often: he is Tommy Large and he always gets picked.

At least the selectors did two things right: they picked Michael Jennings and they made significant changes in the front row.

Jennings should have been selected all series but after a scintillating hat-trick against Manly selectors had little choice. At least he will worry the Queensland backs with his speed and evasiveness. Michael Gordon has also been bought in on a wing. I like Michael Gordon as a player but he is hardly an attacking force that will concern the Maroons. The out-of-form Hayne should have been shifted to a wing with Josh Dugan or Kurt Gidley named at fullback.

It was also pleasing to see Brett White shown the door and young props Kade Snowden and Tim Mannah given an opportunity. White is a soft-bellied impostor who has finally been called out for what he is. Bellamy would have been pushing his barrow but thankfully it wasn’t enough this time. Kade Snowden has deserved his chance for a long time. He is a hard worker and bustling runner who constantly gets over the advantage line. Tim Mannah probably jumped over the more deserving Luke Douglas but he is fresh talent who has been an outstanding ball carrier in 2010 and is well worth playing. At least the Blues won’t get smashed up front.

This is the best team the Blues have named all series. But again the selectors showed little vision for the future and again the Blues will get well beaten with little apparent good coming from the wreckage. Unless the Maroons go out Noxing again, this will be a sweep for Queensland.

More Words of Wisdom on Jarryd Hayne: Parramatta coach Daniel Anderson was right to call out Jarryd Hayne on Saturday night. He turned in yet another dismal and ill-disciplined display that featured a try to go along with two handling errors, two penalties conceded and a missed tackle. For the second week in a row, Parramatta scored only a single try. Hayne is the centre piece of Parramatta’s attack yet he seems to come and go as he pleases. He does not backup down the centre third like Billy Slater or Josh Dugan and he does little to create for his teammates. The reigning Dally M Medal winner, a medal he should not have won last year and only got because the idiot judges thought he should win it because of his hot late season form, has scored only two tries this year to go along with nineteen handling errors. Worse, his ego is allegedly running rampant. Hayne seems to think he is above the game and above turning up for the Eels on a weekly basis. While the likes of Nathan Hindmarsh do their bit every week, Hayne shows up for big games when he is on show. He then lairs about and acts like he plays hard every week. He seemingly has little respect for the game, his club, his fans, his coach or his teammates. It comes as no surprise that his form has headed south since signing a long-term deal last year. Daniel Anderson is being criticised for not dealing well with the Polynesian players but Hayne and his entourage should not be hiding behind such foolishness. Anderson clearly is just fed up with his highest paid player not adhering to game plans and contributing significantly. Hopefully Anderson’s bruising of Hayne’s huge ego will bring him into line. It is doubtful it will though. Hayne is too much of a prickly egomaniac to ever pay attention to a coach.

More Officiating Fuck-Ups: Paul Simpkins should be whipped without mercy until his back is bleeding and tears are streaming down his face. His boss Robert Finch should be gelded and then shot. The decision to disallow Luke Priddis’s try on Friday night for the Dragons was a monumental disgrace and one that should lead to mass sackings. Priddis darted over from dummy half and planted the ball firmly but the try was disallowed because Michael Weyman was deemed to have obstructed the defender. Weyman simply played-the-ball. Seemingly Weyman not turning invisible is what led to the no-try call. Paul Simpkins and Robert Finch have essentially banned the dummy-half try from close range. That has been a try forever and a day in rugby league and now these jokers are banning it. Not an ounce of common sense was used. Anybody who disagrees with such an assessment is an idiot who knows nothing about the sport.

Recent Signings: There has been a little bit of action in the player market recently headlined by the Bulldogs picking up Parramatta half Kris Keating. While I do not have an enormous opinion of him, he is an upgrade for the Bulldogs with Kimmorley sure to retire and Ben Roberts and Blake Green continuing to be beset by stupidity and ineptitude. Keating also came through the juniors with Trent Hodkinson and should form a nice halves combination with the Manly seven in the blue and white. They certainly both played well when named as the halves combination for City this year. The Cowboys made a key signing with Brent Tate set to join the club in 2011. Tate’s biggest problem is his ability to get injured but he will add some steel to the club when he joins them. Newcastle have signed two big boppers in Antonio Kaufusi and Neville Costigan. Kaufusi joins the club immediately but he has been the most overpaid player in the game since heading to Townsville. Newcastle will be Costigan’s fourth club. Costigan is a Queensland Origin stalwart though I’m not exactly sure why. The Cowboys have also released another dog with Manase Manuakafoa off to Parramatta. He will be playing plenty for Wentworthville very soon one would imagine.

Field Goal Fest: It really was a festival of the boot at Dairy Farmers on Saturday with an outstanding number of field goals taken. Between the Sharks and the Cowboys, nine field goals were attempted with Trent Barrett aiming up four and John Morris two while Tim Smith, Matt Bowen and Johnathan Thurston all took one shot apiece. Three landed with the Sharks winning 20-19 in extra-time. It wasn’t true artistry of the one-pointer but there were plenty to go around.

My Love Affair with Kevin Locke: Kevin Locke has found a special place in my heart and it will take many years and many fuck-ups for him to leave. His performance on Sunday against the Roosters was sublime and financially rewarding in many ways. Hungover, seedy and smelling of Chicken Gourmet and cigarettes, I decided to call my bookmaker and place a few wagers on the Warriors-Roosters match: Kevin Locke first try, Kevin Locke last try, the Warriors and the over. Locke was awarded a dubious first try and scored a nice one just before the break. It seemed as if my luck would end there though. The Warriors looked done and the over was getting more unlikely by the minute. And then, on the very last play of the game, Locke toed through a chip and scored the match winning try for the Warriors and the over while being wrapped around the upright. He was carried off on a stretcher but he was delivered to a place in my heart. Locke has been quiet this year but he is going to be a very good fullback sooner rather than later and while he is playing on the wing he has the capabilities to score plenty of tries.

Rumour Mill: The Gold Coast Titans salary cap rumour just won’t go away. Once again the rumour has surfaced that the Titans will suffer the same fate as the Melbourne Storm this week. The Titans are believed to have significantly rorted the cap according to the rumour mill and they may suffer a significant punishment. The Titans are also believed to be in real financial trouble with the QRL this week calling on the NRL to investigate the Titans over a series of unpaid debts. Combined with construction company Simcorp and their boss Alex Simpson claiming Titans boss Michael Searle begged him for money to pay the players, the Titans look in real strife. Blues selector Laurie Daley is the reported front runner for the Blues coaching position. Daley has an appalling record as both a New South Wales selector and Country Origin coach yet is likely to be named Blues boss from 2011 onwards. Mark Gasnier is set to play for the Dragons this Friday evening with a deal done and an announcement to be made any day. Parramatta are allegedly chasing Cooper Cronk with the Eels prepared to throw big money at the Storm star with Daniel Mortimer’s form so-so this year and Kris Keating fleeing to the Bulldogs. Eels boss Daniel Anderson is allegedly livid at Timana Tahu after the centre was suspended for a month for a high shot on the Knights James McManus. Tahu reportedly assured the Eels management he was right to go but that was clearly not the case. It was interesting to note that Steve Price was not on the sideline of the Warriors-Roosters match at Christchurch with fellow injured teammates. There may be more going on there with word of a major blow up with coach Ivan Cleary seemingly pretty close to the mark.

Power Rankings:

 

Rank	Team	Record	Last Week	High	Low
1	Dragons	12-3	1	1	2
2	Penrith	10-4	2	2	11
3	Souths	8-7	4	2	16
4	West Tigers	8-6	6	3	8
5	Manly	8-7	5	2	10
6	Gold Coast	9-6	3	2	6
7	Brisbane	8-7	7	6	15
8	Warriors	7-7	8	7	13
9	Roosters	7-7	10	4	11
10	Parramatta	6-8	9	3	13
11	Canterbury	4-10	12	5	12
12	Canberra	5-9	11	9	15
13	Cronulla	5-9	13	12	15
14	Newcastle	6-8	14	10	15
15	Cowboys	4-11	15	12	15
*	Melbourne	9-6	*	*	*

 

To honour the match-up between the two longest serving coaches in NRL history last Friday, Wayne Bennett and Tim Sheens, here are a few coaching facts.

Fun Fact #1: 26 coaches have coached over 200 NRL first grade games. Only six of those coaches have not won a premiership. They are Brian Smith (549* games), Graham Murray (331), Roy Masters (250), Matt Elliott (212* games), Don Furner (204 games) and Terry Fearnley (200 games).

Fun Fact #2: Of the ten most capped coaches in Australian rugby league history, only two have not been invited to coach Australia or a State of Origin team: Brian Smith and Warren Ryan.

Fun Fact #3: The ten most capped coaches have won 26 premierships and lost 16 other Grand Finals between them.

Fun Fact #4: Ron Willey and Frank Stanton are the only two coaches in the ten most capped not to coach at least two teams to a Grand Final.

Fun Fact #5: Twelve coaches have coached 300-plus first grade games. In order of winning percentage:

1. Bob Fulton (64.44%)
2. Wayne Bennett (64.03%)
3. Jack Gibson (62.18%)
4. Ron Willey (57.32%)
5. Chris Anderson (56.97%)
6. John Lang (56.8%)
7. Warren Ryan (56.14%)
8. Frank Stanton (52.62%)
9. Harry Bath (52.32%)
10. Brian Smith (51.39%)
11. Graham Murray (50.67%)
12. Tim Sheens (50.33%)

Willie M Medal Voting: What is now being called the most prestigious medal in rugby league…

 

Dragons-Tigers	3-Geoff Daniela (Tig)
	2-Robbie Farah (Tig)
	1-Lote Tuqiri (Tig)
Penrith-Manly	3-Joe Galuvao (Man)
	2-Josh Perry (Man)
	1-Michael Robertson (Man)
Parramatta-Brisbane	3-Luke Burt (Par)
	2-Jarryd Hayne (Par)
	1-Tom Humble (Par)
Cowboys-Cronulla	3-John Williams (Cow)
	2-Tim Smith (Cro)
	1-Ashley Graham (Cow)
Souths-Melbourne	3-Todd Lowrie (Mel)
	2-Cooper Cronk (Mel)
	1-Adam Blair (Mel)
Roosters-Warriors	3-Phil Graham (Roo)
	2-Joel Moon (War)
	1-Sione Lousi (War)
Gold Coast-Newcastle	3-Preston Campbell (GC)
	2-Mat Rogers (GC)
	1-Ben Rogers (GC)
Canberra-Bulldogs	3-Adam Mogg (Can)
	2-Josh Dugan (Can)
	1-Josh Morris (Bul)
Leaderboard	15-Preston Campbell (GC)
	13-Chris Sandow (Sou)
	12-Scott Dureau (New), Josh McCrone (Can), Joseph Tomane (GC)
	11-Brett Kimmorley (Bul)
	10-Trent Barrett (Cro), James Maloney (War), Mark Minichiello (GC), Carl Webb (Cow)
	9-Todd Carney (Roo)

 

Game of the Year Nomination, Round 16: Penrith-Manly, 40-22. Another sensational weekend of rugby league with not a bad match on the slate. The Dragons-Tigers was a high quality affair on Friday night with the final score belying the class of the match. The three Saturday matches were decided by margins of 4, 1 and 2 with the Sharks-Cowboys affair going to golden point and featuring nine shots at field goal. The Warriors staged a stirring late comeback against the Roosters with some Kevin Locke magic securing the win for the Warriors in the dying seconds. It was the Penrith-Manly match that was the pick, however, with the ball control and quality of play as good as seen in any match this year. There was not a single set that wasn’t completed in the first half with only a single handling error on the score sheet. Both teams finished with 90%-plus completion rates with only six errors all match. Manly were not bad by any stretch of the imagination yet they were blown off the park by a Penrith team that stood tall and demanded to be recognised as legitimate premiership contenders. Michael Jennings pulled out the best individual performance of the season in scoring a hat-trick and laying on another. He once again made fools of the New South Wales selectors who overlooked him for games one and two of this series. Luke Lewis just continues to get better and was brilliant. The try he chipped over the top for Kevin Kingston in the first half may well be the try of the year. Gavin Cooper is one of the most underrated players in the competition and had a cracker against the Eagles. Manly should not lose any heart. They were simply outplayed by a team who played a near perfect match of rugby league.

Coaching Stocks:

Wayne Bennett [5] The Dragons were again ruthlessly efficient in disposing of the Tigers. Clinical and brilliant.

Craig Bellamy [4.5] Says Storm are starting to drop off now. Will need to be good to fire them up over 10 weeks.

Matt Elliott [4.5] Penrith turned in a near perfect performance on Friday night. They can attack and defend.

John Lang [4] A big ask to win in Perth over the Storm but the Bunnies ground out a nice win. Primed for a run.

John Cartwright [3] There is something happening behind the scenes at the Gold Coast. Terrible against the Knights.

Des Hasler [3] Manly weren’t bad…but they were easily beaten by a much better team. Season on precipice.

Tim Sheens [3] Went with the Dragons for 50 mins but they lack the skill and defensive structure to beat Saints.

Brian Smith [2] Would be extremely disappointed with loss to Warriors. Carney experiment finished in failure too.

Ivan Henjak [2] Bounced back well with a gritty win over the Eels. Forward worries maintain though.

Kevin Moore [1.5] A much needed win for the Bulldogs. They now need to string a few wins together.

David Furner [0] What a God awful performance. Their attack was abysmal. Furner really should go.

Daniel Anderson [0] Trouble at the Eels. Lost again and is now feuding with Hayne. Playing with fire and Eels fading.

Ivan Cleary [0] Huge confidence boost to snatch a win against the Roosters. Seems to have got Locke right.

Rick Stone [-0.5] Gritty effort to beat the Titans and make it two on the trot. Knights need to win those games.

Ricky Stuart [-3] Gave his team a massive spray and the Sharks won on a huge second half comeback.

Neil Henry [-4] Another awful effort put in for a game they should have won. Humiliating, embarrassing.

Where the Melbourne Storm Would Be If: The Storm would be third still had they not been told to hit the pine. They also wouldn’t be set to lose their star halfback, which is looking increasingly likely at present.

Exchanges with Fisk:

Tedeschi on that Priddis no-try: “What a fucking disgrace.”

Fisk on that Priddis no-try: “Try for your life.”

Tedeschi on that Priddis no-try: “What is wrong with these assclowns? How stupid can you be?”

The Queanbeyan Kangaroos 2010 Campaign: Despite a quad injury to captain-coach Aaron Gorrell that saw him forced to carry the clipboard this week, the Kangaroos tapped up yet another win. The Roos were reportedly lacklustre and error prone but they parlayed a 10-6 half-time lead over the eighth placed Woden Rams into a 26-16 win. It wasn’t one for the books but it was a win nonetheless and maintains the Kangaroos position of second on the ladder. Halfback Beau Dunley was the Roos best in scoring two tries and kicking three from five while centre Robinson had another brilliant game in scoring two tries and taking his season tally to fifteen. That was six wins on the trot for the Pride of Queanbeyan and From The Couch’s very own team. The Roos now have a week off to prepare for their monster local derby against the loathed Queanbeyan Blues with the Blues needing to win to stay in touch with the top four.

Obscure Score of the Week: Gateshead 12-York 60. Cooperative Championship 1 stragglers Gateshead were given yet another touch up on the weekend with the Knights thumping the local boys 60-12 at Gateshead International Stadium. The Knights led 34-0 at the break and went on with it in the second half scoring five more tries. Lee Waterman starred with a hat-trick. The Thunder, who are under new management this season and who started the season on minus six points due to financial mismanagement, have won only one match this year.

Stats from the Penguin: Ben Pomeroy actually had what most pundits would call a good game against the Cowboys. The Penguin scored a try, set up another, ran for 144 metres, broke the line twice, busted five tackles, offloaded the ball three times, made 15 tackles, missed none and only dropped the pill once. My only thought after reading those numbers is the Cowboys are a goddamn embarrassment to rugby league.

Fantasy Team of the Week:

1. Luke Patten (Bul)
2. Kevin Locke (War)
3. Michael Jennings (Pen)
4. Chris Lawrence (Tig)
5. Justin O’Neill (Mel)
6. Jamie Soward (Dra)
7. Daniel Mortimer (Par)
13. Luke Lewis (Pen)
12. Corey Parker (Bri)
11. Nathan Hindmarsh (Par)
10. Ryan Tandy (Bul)
9. Paul Aiton (Cro)
8. Matthew Scott (Cow)

Waiver Wire Advice: It is time to dump a high-priced three-quarter and pick up Storm winger Justin O’Neill. O’Neill has taken the second Storm wing position off Luke MacDougall and Anthony Quinn won’t be getting the spot back once he fully recovers from injury. O’Neill scored three tries against the Cowboys and followed that up on Saturday with two tries and a try assist against Souths. That doesn’t include a butchered try where O’Neill simply missed a cross field kick when unmarked. His price will rise from the $94k currently on offer but he is worth the small increase. He could be anything and he will be playing first grade for the rest of the season.

Lazy Long Bay Days, Part 17: The sting has been set up. Houston is released, temporarily, from prison. He will only be free while he is chasing perps though. Houston is the central piece in a plan to ruin the Roosters. Houston is first to meet up with coach Brian Smith, the man that bought him to Newcastle, and ask to train with the club. He is then to seek out Todd Carney and Jake Friend, among others, to get them to either buy or sell drugs to Houston. Houston will be wearing a wire. The hammer may be coming down on the Roosters. Houston has just turned Government rat.

Watch It: We can only hope that State of Origin III will provide fans with the same joy this kicking duel did back in 1992 when Dale “Rowdy” Shearer took on Ricky Stuart and Laurie Daley in a game of force-em-backs that lasted well over twelve kicks and one minute. Like the voluntary tackle or the scrum won against the head, you simply don’t see it anymore. But take my word: the kicking duel is a truly mesmerising thing to see. Click Here.

Beard Watch: It appears as if the real stronghold of the beard in the NRL at present is hooker with plenty of rakes sporting facial hair. Led by Kevin Kingston, the hooking fraternity have really warmed to the beard of late. The Warriors Ian Henderson is sporting a full face of hair while teammate Aaron Heremia has a bit of fluff going on. Melbourne’s Cameron Smith has more than his share of stubble. Paul Aiton is sporting a little bit of something that could be called a beard. The Knights Isaac De Gois has a little beauty at present. Long live the hooker, long live the beard! Fans of the red beard were also treated to a wonderful match-up on Sunday when the Gold Coast hosted the Knights with Brad Meyers and Dan Tolar squaring off. Brad Meyers had a stellar match and won in a knockout. It came as no surprise considering how brilliant his beard is. It should also be noted that Ben Rogers shaved his beard off this week. He is still rubbish.

Correspondence Corner: I received a letter from Donovan Daniels this week asking me to name my current ranga team of the year in honour of our new saucehead Prime Minister. Well, Donovan, first up, that is a great name. And secondly, here is the Julia Gillard Fanta Pants XIII:

1. Nathan Stapleton (Cronulla)
2. Joel Monaghan (Canberra)
3. Tom Symonds (Roosters)
4. Ben Jones (Roosters)
5. Luke O’Dwyer (Gold Coast)
6. Scott Dureau (Newcastle)
7. Peter Wallace (Brisbane)
13. Alan Tongue (Canberra)
12. Ben Creagh (Dragons)
11. Shane Rodney (Manly)
10. Dan Tolar (Newcastle)
9. Anthony Watts (Cowboys)
8. Keith Galloway (Tigers)