Season 2010: Round 7

From The Couch

The Future of the Melbourne Storm: Obviously, the future of the Melbourne Storm is hanging in the balance. With it comes the future of rugby league in Victoria and as a national code. While the NRL needs to act impartially, the League still has a charter to do the best for the code and a rugby league team in Melbourne is particularly important. The NRL had no choice but to implement a significant penalty. The terms of that will continue to be a matter of debate. The penalty of Melbourne being unable to accrue points this season is the most controversial aspect of the punishment but that can be somewhat offset if the Storm play an entertaining style with a fuck you attitude, just as they did on Sunday night. The one issue I do have a major problem with, however, is the NRL telling Melbourne that the team must be broken up meaning players cannot take paycuts to stay. The NRL has no right to do that and it is not in the interests of the League to break up the Melbourne Storm.

I have no problems if the NRL wants to put a limit on the recruitment the Storm can do over the next two-to-three seasons and I have no problems with the NRL insisting that players who signed with the Storm over the last four years from other clubs be released but the NRL should not be allowed to break up the Smith, Slater, Inglis and Cronk core if those players wish to take a paycut to stay together. Players have a right to earn as much or as little as possible and there is no rule that a player must go to where the most money is offered. These players should have the right to stay loyal to the team that they debuted for. If that means that the Storm suffer a punishment of only being able to offer minimum contracts to outside players for the next three years, so be it. That would be a fairer punishment than forcing Storm produced and developed players to leave a club and a town and possibly a code they love. The NRL allowed Paul Gallen to take a paycut. The same should be allowed for any Storm player who wishes to stay, particularly those who were developed by the club. Rugby league must stay in Melbourne and now the NRL has dished out its punishment it must help the club get back on its feet. It certainly cannot allow the team to be moved to Rockhampton, as is being discussed in some circles.

Top Ten Things I would Like To See the Melbourne Storm Do Now Every Game is Meaningless:

10. Brett White and Jeff Lima to bust up Willie Mason tag team style

9. Bring back Chris Anderson as the new CEO

8. Wear head gear and paint their faces black and perform a minstrel show try celebration

7. Stop taking penalty goals and conversions

6. Each Storm player to change their name by deed poll to Waldron Izzacunt

5. Recall legend Dennis Scott for his twentieth match for the club

4. Name Cooper Cronk captain-coach during Origin

3. Decide Matt Duffie will score 6 tries in a match

2. Ryan Tandy and Bryan Norrie to be given goal-kicking duties

1. Kick only field goals in a match in an attempt to break the record of 5.

Betting Thoughts on the Melbourne Storm: First up, don’t buy all this magnanimous bullshit coming out of betting shops. Those paying out on the Storm simply had to and they weren’t holding that much on Melbourne at any rate. It is hoped that betting shops will agree to pay out on the actual wooden spoon team as well as there would have been plenty of punters bet in good faith on teams like the Sharks and Knights who deserve their chance at a collect. Betting shops did the right thing by refunding Storm premiership bets. The backlash would have been immense had they not. A smart public relations move. I was surprised to see shops actually betting on the Storm-Warriors match including offering a total points line. These games could be dangerous betting propositions. The one thing that does look a good play is the over though. The Storm are going to try and have some fun and with the intensity of their defence sure to drop off then Storm games could get pretty loose.

Wally Waldron: Brian Waldron always came across as a power hungry Machiavellian sporting administrator who would do whatever and go wherever to ensure his name was in lights and his pockets filled. In the space of a decade he worked in senior positions at AFL, NRL and ARU clubs. Brian Waldron was always about Brian Waldron. His claims to justify his role in the whole scam- that “everybody was doing it”- is just an attempt to deflect attention and his threats to squeal sum up the total worth of the man. Even with his career over and the game up, he is still squirming and politicking. My initial thoughts when he was hired were that he was an AFL stooge and while the odds on that are fairly long, I am not totally convinced it wasn’t the case. He is a scumbag and he is going to get what is coming to him very soon when the hammer comes down squarely on his head.

The Second Set of Books: While this column certainly condemns the systematic cheating of the salary cap that goes on, it would be naïve to suggest that it isn’t rampant in the game. It almost certainly is and comes about as a result of the fact the NRL places limits on the earnings of top players. Be that as it may, however, the one thing I am shocked at is the fact the Storm were so well organised and kept a second set of books. More astonishing is the fact that this set of books was kept either in the office or the home of the CEO. Why, if you were cheating, would you record it? And if it was absolutely necessary, why would you not keep the books in a location that wouldn’t be found like a nondescript post office box or in the backyard underneath the chook pen or in the safe of a lawyer? This, to me, is the most unbelievable aspect of the story. Just pay in brown paper bags like the rest of the clubs who cheat do.

The Happiest Man in Rugby League Right Now: Well, referees boss Robert Finch has seemingly dodged a bullet. Just as the axe was hovering and the public were baying for his blood, the Storm scandal broke and Finch quickly retreated to the shadows. The fact the move to allow the more experienced referee to control the entire match created more consistency and allowed a better flow in matches this weekend also did his career prospects no harm. I haven’t forgotten though. This author will be keeping a close eye on him and his arrogant cronies.

Fun Fact #1: The Melbourne Storm defeated the Illawarra Steelers in their first ever match, winning 14-12 at WIN Stadium.

Fun Fact #2: The two coaches that day, Chris Anderson and Andrew Farrar, both had 10-year playing careers at Canterbury.

Fun Fact #3: The most decorated prop of the modern era, Glenn Lazarus, started that game from the bench with fellow internationals Robbie Kearns and Rodney Howe starting in the front row.

Fun Fact #4: The Melbourne Storm had 9 internationals in their inaugural team with Robbie Ross, Scott Hill, Brett Kimmorley, Robbie Kearns, Rodney Howe, Marcus Bai, Glenn Lazarus, Tawera Nikau and Richard Swain all playing.

Fun Fact #5: Sean Hampstead was the referee and the Storm won the penalty count 10-4.

Fun Fact #6: Two Craig Smith’s played in that match with the Steelers Craig Smith going on to play 153 NRL games with four clubs while the Storm Craig Smith played only 20 matches but will forever be etched in history for being the player tackled by Jamie Ainscough in the 1999 Grand Final that led to the penalty try.

Fun Fact #7: Three of the Storm players played for at least four clubs with Brett Kimmorley (Newcastle, Hunter, Melbourne, Northern Eagles, Cronulla, Canterbury) and John Carlaw (Hunter, Melbourne, Balmain, Wests Tigers, Warriors, Dragons) playing for six teams and centre Paul Bell (Cronulla, Wests, Western Reds, Melbourne) four.

Rumours of the Week: The rugby league rumour mill has never been in a higher gear. Various clubs outside the Storm have been suggested to have broken the salary cap to levels nearing the Storm with Brisbane and the Roosters the teams named. Parramatta have also been rumoured to have cheated the cap. Storm coach Craig Bellamy may be forced to step aside from his NSW gig with suggestions he was a party to the Storm’s orchestrated campaign to cheat the cap. He is now second favourite at Sportingbet to coach the Blues this year. Suggestions out of the Storm camp have the Storm salary cap breach at up and above $2 million. Rebels board members are rumoured to be concerned for Brian Waldron’s health and wellbeing. The Rebels are alleged to have made a $1 million a play season for Billy Slater. It is expected Brett Finch will now be at Newcastle next year with Aiden Tolman at the Bulldogs, Ben Hannant at the Broncos, Jeff Lima at the Roosters and Ryan Hoffman in England. As I have said on numerous occasions, the Gold Coast drama is far from done with investigations ongoing. The Storm may end up in Rockhampton while the Sharks may end up in Melbourne.

Magic Weekend: This weekend the Super League will stage its famous Magic Weekend in Edinburgh with all 14 Super League teams playing over two days at Murrayfield. This will be the fourth annual Magic Weekend with the first two held at the Millennium Stadium and last year being moved to Murrayfield. It is a fabulous idea where fans get to see a quadruple-header or a triple-header in front of a packed crowd as the rugby league world focuses on one town. The NRL should look at something similar. Imagine the excitement of a quadruple header at Suncorp on the Saturday and a quadruple header at ANZ on the Sunday with the possibility that cities could bid for the Magic Weekend. It would break up the middle of the season and would be a fantastic tradition to start.

The Willie M Medal: The first annual award recognising the worst, most destructive, talentless, hopeless, mediocre and victory-costing players in the NRL.

 

Bulldogs-Brisbane	3-Ben Te'o (Brs)
	2-Ben Hunt (Brs)
	1-Jharal Yow Yen (Brs)
Cowboys-Parramatta	3-Ashley Graham (Cow)
	2-Carl Webb (Cow)
	1-John Williams (Cow)
Penrith-Tigers	3-Bryce Gibbs (Tig)
	2-Blake Lazarus (Tig)
	1-Chris Lawrence (Tig)
Cronulla-Newcastle	3-Junior Sau (New)
	2-Cooper Vuna (New)
	1-Ben Rogers (New)
Canberra-Souths	3-Tom Learoyd-Lars (Can)
	2-Brett Kelly (Can)
	1-Adam Mogg (Can)
Dragons-Roosters	3-Todd Carney (Roo)
	2-Jason Ryles (Roo)
	1-Nick Kouparitsis (Roo)
Melbourne-Warriors	3-James Maloney (War)
	2-Ben Matulino (War)
	1-Lance Hohaia (War)
Manly-Gold Coast	3-Ben Farrar (Man)
	2-Joseph Tomane (GC)
	1-Matt Ballin (Man)
Leaderboard	7-Josh McCrone (Can),Ben Roberts(Bul),
	Chris Sandow (Sou)
	6-Greg Bird(GC), Preston Campbell (GC),
	Eric Grothe (Par), Albert Kelly (Cro), Ben
	Pomeroy (Cro), Steve Simpson (New), Peter Wallace (Brs).
	5-Braith Anasta (Roo), Todd Carney (Roo), Bryce Gibbs (Tig), Denan Kemp (Brs), Michael Robertson (Man), Joseph Tomane (GC), Carl Webb (Cow), Ty Williams (Cow)

 

Thanks to The Judge and my brother Matt, a green blooded Raider for way too many years, for their votes in the late Saturday night match and the early Sunday game.

Power Rankings:

Rank	Team	Record	Last Week	High	Low
1	Dragons	6-1	1	1	2
2	Gold Coast	5-2	5	2	5
3	Penrith	5-2	6	3	11
4	Manly	4-3	3	3	10
5	Wests Tigers	4-3	4	3	6
6	Souths	4-3	8	6	16
7	Canterbury	3-4	9	5	10
8	Roosters	4-3	7	4	9
9	Parramatta	3-4	10	3	13
10	Canberra	2-5	12	10	15
11	Warriors	3-4	11	7	13
12	Cowboys	2-5	14	12	14
13	Cronulla	2-5	14	12	14
14	Newcastle	2-5	13	10	14
15	Brisbane	2-5	15	7	15
*	Melbourne	5-2	*	*	*

Note: Due to recent events surrounding the Storm, they will no longer be considered in the weekly power rankings.

Game of the Year Nomination, Round 7: Melbourne-Warriors, 40-6. The game didn’t provide two competition points to the Storm, who can no longer accrue premiership points. The game was not a close match. The contest was not even and the result was essentially meaningless. Though without doubt this was the game of the round with 24,000 Victorians turning up to watch their team, on the brink of its very existence, play with pride and dignity and ultimate success. On the football front, the Storm has signalled their intention for the remainder of 2010 by playing dashing, carefree football with the ball in hand and brutal, jarring defence. The latter may suffer as the season wears on but the Storm’s willingness to toss the ball around, chip and chase, flick pass and attack from their own half is going to be highly entertaining as is the prospect of the last placed team touching up other sides. When your back is against the wall, you are at your most dangerous. That is how the Storm will look in 2010 and it all started with this critical and season defining performance.

Where the Storm Would be on the Ladder If…: 2nd and arguably the top team in the NRL.

Obscure Score of the Week: Orange Hawks-Orange CYMS, 34-26. Hawks and CYMS met in the second division grand final of the Win TV Challenge and the local derby went to the Hawks, who claimed their first trophy in seven long years that has seen the club hit hard financial times. The two teams meet again this week in the first round of the Group 10 competition and with CYMS captain-coach Mick Sullivan returning, the Catholics will be hoping for a change in fortune and a different result.

Exchanges with Fisk:

Fisk on the Storm Scandal: “Jesus Tedeschi, you take one trip to Peru and the entire world turns on its head.”

Tedeschi on the Storm Scandal: “It was that AFL fucker Waldron. Now it is just a case of Where’s Wally. My guess that in about a year it will be Barwon.”

Coaching Stocks:

Wayne Bennett [5] The Dragons have no fear. Play with professionalism and with no Storm are top clear faves.

Craig Bellamy [4] Storm season in tatters. His life’s work ruined. Will be eagerly awaiting how much he knew.

John Cartwright [4] Huge win at Brookvale in which the Titans had no right to claim the two points. Tough.

Kevin Moore [4] Big effort by the Dogs with troops hurt. Starting to get into stride.

Des Hasler [3.5] Disappointing loss when throwing away victory Monday. May need to rearrange outside backs.

Matt Elliott [3.5] He has the Panthers flying and the win against the Tigers was best yet.

Tim Sheens [3] The Tigers may be hitting their traditional mid-season malaise. Maturity needed.

Brian Smith [3] Nasty loss to the Dragons but the Roosters never gave up and just missed the rub.

John Lang [2] Would have been close to a heart attack but a win in Canberra is nothing to sneeze at.

Daniel Anderson [1] Eels got the job done over Cowboys but barely. Need to lift and soon.

David Furner [0.5] Another blown lead. The talent is there but two home blown leads is concerning.

Neil Henry [0] Cowboys drop to 2-5 and injuries wreaking havoc. Tough but dumb on Friday.

Rick Stone [-0.5] Shocking loss to Cronulla. Hideous performance. May not last the year.

Ivan Henjak [-1.5] Another week, another loss. Commitment but lacking talent.

Ricky Stuart [-1.5] A much needed win at home. Gave the fans some hope.

Ivan Cleary [-2] Horrible effort in a winnable game. Showed no punch. Axe is looming.

Stats from the Penguin: Much to the delight of all those who have ever dared criticise Ben Pomeroy, labelling him overrated and hopeless and an eyesore, Pomeroy was ruled out for a month with the terribly painful sounding sliced pinky finger. Yes, that’s right, The Retarded Penguin is out for a month with an injury to his pinky. Hey, Penguin, grab me a packet of Stuyvo’s and a six-pack next time you are buying a pack of tampons and a new pair of stockings. Pomeroy said of the injury: “Yeah, Stick told me to get surgery straight away.” Clearly Pomeroy doesn’t understand sarcasm. Perhaps he is Canadian.

The Queanbeyan Kangaroos 2010 Campaign: Word filtering out of Queanbeyan is that the Roos fought out a draw with local rivals the Blues in a monster local derby. The champion Roos looked well and truly gone late in the match against the damned Blues before a controversial penalty against the Blues for a voluntary tackle with 2 minutes remaining saw the match finish at 18-all. Wow, you don’t see too many voluntary tackle penalties these days. Captain-coach Aaron Gorrell nailed it from 35 out and a draw was how it finished. The Roos are still undefeated after 3 rounds with a win and a draw and a bye. From The Couch are very happy to be on the Roos for the beginning of their premiership run.

Fantasy Team of the Week:

1. Billy Slater (Mel)
2. Bryson Goodwin (Bul)
3. Matt Cooper (Dra)
4. Steve Matai (Man)
5. Matt Duffie (Mel)
6. John Sutton (Sou)
7. Cooper Cronk (Mel)
13. Chris Heighington (Tig)
12. Nathan Hindmarsh (Par)
11. Anthony Laffranchi (GC)
10. Willie Mason (Cow)
9. Cameron Smith (Mel)
8. Kade Snowden (Cro)

Waiver Wire Advice: There has been plenty of big injuries this week which will open up opportunities for cheaper players. Mitchell Pearce is out for a month meaning Todd Carney will go to halfback, Anthony Minichiello to fullback and likely Ben Jones to the centres. Minichiello may get some more action and is worth a play at $183k. Ben Roberts looks like he will be out for six weeks. Ben Barba, who has scored 7 tries and more fantasy points this year, will take the six jersey and is a very good chance of holding the jumper even when Roberts returns. Brisbane hooker Andrew McCullough could be out for as long as three months. Look out for his replacement who could be Alex Glenn, Ben Hunt or a debutant. Cowboys forward James Tamou had a sensational match against Parramatta, putting up big numbers. At $163k and plenty of minutes available in the weak Cowboys pack, he is a good pick up. I would also look to get as many Melbourne Storm backs as possible. They look like they are going to run in some big scores this year with nothing to really lose. Cooper Cronk, Brett Finch, Billy Slater and even little known outside backs like Matt Duffie are all well worth investing in as the tries will be flowing during Storm matches.

Beard Watch: It is one of the great tragedies of the modern game that not one single coach has gone the facial hair route. Sure, we have Des Hasler’s flowing locks and occasionally Matt Elliott’s stubble but the days of the moustachioed coach or the bearded mentor seem to have passed. It hasn’t always been this way though. Over the last twenty years there have been some fantastic facial hair devotees. The moustache was popular in the late eighties through to the nineties. Graham Murray (Illawarra, Hunter, Roosters, Cowboys), Rod Reddy (Adelaide), Ron Hilditch (Illawarra, Parramatta), Wally Lewis (Gold Coast) and Shaun McRae (Souths) all sported them but it was that of Gold Coast coach Phil Economidis that stood above the rest with his Wikipedia page noting his “moustache was a favourite of many fans in the late 90’s.” It was a glorious, full-bodied moustache that commandeered respect and demanded attention and was possibly the greatest legacy of the Gold Coast Chargers. Unfortunately the beard has never really had much of a run in the sun over the last two decades with Tim Sheens’ brief run in the sun when he was in his last days of Canberra and the beginning of his time in Townsville the only time the beard has really made it into the coaching ranks.

Lazy Long Bay Days, Part 8: It looks like Chris has a new cellmate with former Storm CEO Brian Waldron arrested and charged with fraud and a number of other white collar crimes. As coincidence and a good story would have it, he ended up in the same prison as other rugby league convicts Danny Wicks and Chris Houston. Old Wally looks a little scared as he enters though a smile creeps across his face when he sees Houston. Houston nods and makes small talk but he knows a fair amount of unpleasantness awaits the flabby bellied Waldron.

Watch It: From The Couch likes to bring you rugby league from all over the world and this time we are off to Italy to watch Italy and Germany go at it in the 2008 European Shield. The standard is not too bad at all and it is brilliant to see rugby league taking off over the globe. Click Here

Correspondence Corner: The in-box has been flooded with all kinds of queries about the Melbourne Storm. What is known and what is the real deal and where are we headed and the like. Well, read above and stay tuned into Making The Nut and keep hammering away. But at this late hour there is little more bad news I can handle so I am going to rank the twenty greatest Storm players throughout their existence, as was called upon sometime very early on Saturday morning at the Limerick Arms in South Melbourne.

1. Cameron Smith
2. Billy Slater
3. Glenn Lazarus
4. Cooper Cronk
5. Dallas Johnson
6. Greg Inglis
7. Stephen Kearney
8. Robbie Kearns
9. Israel Folau
10. Scott Hill
11. Brett Kimmorley
12. Tawera Nikau
13. Steve Bell
14. Matt Geyer
15. Matt King
16. Matt Orford
17. Ryan Hoffman
18. Richard Swain
19. Michael Crocker
20. Robbie Ross