From The Couch: Round 10

From The Couch: Round 10

The Dean Pay Era Mercifully Ends But Further Horrors Await: There are a lot of people feeling sorry for Dean Pay this week. I am not one of them. There is no question he was given little chance to succeed at the Bulldogs. Rugby League is not a charity though. He showed no signs that he could coach. It was obvious to anyone who understood the game how this would play out and if he couldn’t see that he shouldn’t be in the job. He also betrayed the club in an act of total treachery 25 years back. There should be zero sympathy. 

Dean Pay was certainly not to blame for the diabolical state of the Bulldogs. There are far more important architects to the clusterfuck than him going back to Des and Raelene and continuing to the current powerbrokers at the club. The fact remains though he was not part of the future and he was impeding the ability of the Bulldogs to get to it. 

A decision needed to be made. It took far too long and has cost Canterbury the ability to make key signings. At least it has been made. The Bulldogs now sit at a crossroads. The past is the past. There is some light at the end of the long tunnel signifying a future may exist.  Finding the right coach is critical. The Bulldogs have taken an inordinate amount of time with every decision of late but with arguably their most important one they have rushed into it like a shitty winger playing outside a shittier centre. 

Trent Barrett is apparently a done deal. Canterbury are in for more years of misery as the club is seemingly desperate to repeat Newcastle’s Nathan Brown experience, minus the charisma and the Best Bets. 

Let’s start at the beginning. Recycled coaches never work. There is a long history of it. The Bulldogs should not be looking at failed coaches. And Barrett is a failed coach. Manly have missed the finals three times since 2005. Twice were in Barrett’s three years. Defence is the best indicator of success. The Eagles conceded 500-plus twice under Barrett. They have done it just one other time since 2006. 

Players in the team Barrett guided to 15th in 2018: Tom Trbojevic, Jake Trbojevic, Addin Fonua-Blake, Daly Cherry-Evans, Martin Taupau, Dylan Walker, Jorge Taufua, Joel Thompson, Api Koroisau, Shaun Lane, Jackson Hastings, Manase Fainu.

Anyone who thinks he is going to be even a competent head coach is a downright idiot. 

The fact he was hired before due diligence was given to the market just adds to the stupidity. There is no market for Barrett. Wayne Bennett likely could have been convinced. Better coaches exist out there at both assistant and overseas level. 

When you think it cannot get any lower at Belmore, it does. The joint is cast if it is entrusting the keys to a once-proud club to Trent Barrett. 

The Canterbury Hit-List: Canterbury supposedly have $3M to spend and have already shown an ability to waste it by spending a fortune on an outside back that wants to play out of position and is not blessed with any great speed. The club has a ton of needs and will take years to spend their money and get their roster right. With most players off the market and the Bulldogs needing playmakers in all four spine positions, speed out wide, an entirely new three-quarter line, forward class and depth, the following players should be on the list. 

FULLBACK

There are no big name fullbacks available and the Bulldogs will probably run with Will Hopoate. It is worth investing in a young player with upside though. Nicho Hynes should be top of the priority list. Will Kennedy on a cheap deal is not hopeless. 

THREE-QUARTERS

The Bulldogs currently possess maybe the worst three-quarter line imaginable. They have spent coin on Nick Cotric so that will help. They should be going all-out for Alex Johnston. He can score tries and he is seemingly off at Souths for reasons that make no sense. Tristan Sailor should also be sounded out. The Bulldogs really need to get much better at identifying young speedsters with basic skills though, something they have been unable to do for seemingly a quarter-century. 

HALVES

The Bulldogs are in desperate need of halves. They have none. Kieran Foran cannot be kept even on a discount deal. He is broken. The Bulldogs could do worse than have a shy at the stumps and try and bring in Benji Marshall. He is a beloved figure in the game and may want a year to finish off with his brother. Cade Cust and Tyrone May are two cheap options with some upside.

HOOKER

First port of call here is monitoring the Storm situation. Brandon Smith looks like the odd-man out and will move for an opportunity. He is a star and a player a club can be built around. Failing him, JakeTurpin has some speed and skill and is an obvious upgrade. Tom Starling has some big wraps and is down the pecking order at Canberra so could shift. The idea of bringing in a veteran appeals little but Andrew McCullough is a better choice than Jake Friend or Nathan Peats. 

MIDDLES

Canterbury are in desperate need of aggressive, energetic veteran middles who are not lunatics like Napa or a statue like Tolman. There are plenty out there. Ryan James should be the centrepiece. He is exactly the kind of forward the Bulldogs need. Jesse Bromwich and Christian Welch may be pried from the Storm and either would be an upgrade. James Tamou is at the backend of his career but can still lay a platform. Josh Kerr is a cheapie who would be a major improvement. 

EDGES
David Fifita is the best on the market but won’t even consider a move to the Bulldogs and at the price he is asking he should not be considered by Canterbury. There really is a dearth though at the position. Matt Eisenhuth has played a lot of middle at the Tigers and is hugely underrated. He will not come at a great cost and would be a smart investment. Sam Stone and Jacob Host are two fringe players with some ability who can provide depth. 

Henry The Octopus At It Again: The refereeing ranks may be thin but Henry Perenara’s appointment to any NRL game is an indictment on the sport and does a major disservice to the game. After being dropped for the last two weeks, he was astonishingly recalled. He managed to, in the space of 80 minutes:

• Send an obvious try up no try when he was a metre away – and topped it with the most confusing explanation of all
• Stupidly called a rarely-seen deliberate knock on that was immediately overturned 
• Normal Henry-isms

2020 Field Goal Update – 12: There have been no field goals kicked across the last two rounds in what is an atrocity the game needs to look at. 

Fun Fact #1: Wayne Bennett’s 850 games as a premiership coach have come against 103 opposition mentors. 

Fun Fact #2: The only coaches Wayne Bennett has never beaten are Steven Price (0-4), Bill Anderson (0-2) and Adam O’Brien (0-1).

Fun Fact #3: His most wins against a single coach is against Tim Sheens, whom he has beaten 28 times.

Betting Market of the Week: The worst centre pairing of all-time:

$1.00: Kerrod Holland and Marcello Montoya
$51.00: The Field

Rumour Mill: It has been strongly rumoured that the New Zealand Warriors have agreed to terms on a one-year deal with the Walker Brothers to coach the team in 2021. CEO Cameron George denies a deal has been reached but the Walker Brothers seem all but certain to be coaching in Auckland next year in what is a rare astute signing. David Fifita is tipped to join the Titans in 2021. 

Moronic Coaching Decision of the Week: It is hard to see Steve Georgallis ever winning a permanent first grade with the idiotic decision to leave a healthy Kieran Foran on the bench in the final 20 minutes with the Bulldogs clinging to a 12-point lead and in desperate need of his experience. They lost. Badly. 

The Coaching Crosshairs: There is absolutely no way Anthony Seibold can recover from the diabolical situation the Broncos are in. He looks a broken man and after the narrative he has constructed, there is little sympathy for him among footy types, the media or fans. The Broncos were whipped 48-0 and were absolutely diabolical. Coaching isn’t always to blame for poor results. It was pretty apparent here. The Broncos players put in no effort, played with absolute stupidity and looked completely at sea. Seibold has stuck loyal. He has also come up with more excuses than a bloke who rocks home at 6am smelling of perfume with a stamp on his wrist and a taxi receipt from Cecil Street. This week the mantra was “we have 15 players unavailable”. The Broncos just have to cut their losses and move on. Now. 

Beard Watch: Cameron Munster and Ryan Papenhuyzen’s commitment to the filthy moustache is so impressive. There is zero lair. It is straight out of the New York City 1970s policing manual. 

Watch It: I have not spent the 3 hours and 37 minutes watching this carefully put together recap of the 1995 season by Sea Eagles Fan. But I will. It looks absolutely incredible. Watch it here.