Season 2010: Round 5

Filed in From The Couch, NRL by on December 2, 2010

From The Couch


Robert Finch Has Hijacked Rugby League: Robert Finch is a terrorist and he has hijacked the game of rugby league. Three of his personal rule interpretations had a major impact on three major matches and left most fans confused, frustrated and ashamed. Note that Finch has no actual power to change the rules that govern the sport. Rather, Finch circumvents that process by developing his own interpretations, almost unilaterally, on how rules should be enforced. Nearly every interpretation defies common sense and leads to totally ludicrous decisions. The first, which will be discussed in more depth below, is the 40 second time limit for goal line dropouts. Finch determined this was long enough and that was that. It contributed significantly to the Storm’s defeat. The second is the obstruction rule, which cost Brett Morris a try for the Dragons on Friday night. Despite Matt Cooper, the block runner, not touching an opposition defender, he was penalised for obstruction. Finch later defended the ruling by saying Cooper had obstructed the vision of the defender and because there wasn’t enough depth to the pass then it was a penalty. When asked how much depth was required, Finch couldn’t give an answer. Finch, much like the referees, has no idea.

The obstruction rule was originally instituted to stop shepherds and defenders being taken out. If a defender makes a bad read and makes a move at another runner then that is his mistake and he should pay. The attacking team has deceived him with ball and player movement. Yet in Finch’s world, that is an obstruction when to most people who have any understanding of the game, it is simply good attack and poor defence. The third decision of the weekend that was disgraceful was the decision of video referee Phil Cooley to award a try to Ben Smith. Smith was intended to be a decoy runner yet Eels half Kris Keating threw the ball into Smith. It hit Smith in the shoulder and chest, going forward. Smith made a late attempt to catch the ball but missed it completely. He then ran forward and dived on the loose ball as the Raiders defensive line, which forced a clear error, were penalised for being fast and stifling. The try was awarded. Finch has decided that unless the ball comes off the hands then it is play on when to anybody who has ever seen and followed the game that Smith’s play was a knock on. It was infuriating. Finch tries to bring in black and white rulings but goes too far and removes the room for common sense. Even Ben Smith would admit that wasn’t a try. It was rewarding a mistake. This all follows the ridiculous grounding controversy of Steve Matai’s try last week where players can now score tries without control of the ball where if they did anything similar in the previous 100 metres it would be determined to be a knock-on. Robert Finch is a disgrace. He is a terrorist who has hijacked our game. He should not have a job in rugby league. He is an embarrassment to himself, the NRL and the sport of rugby league. The quicker he is fired the better off we all will be.

What is Wrong with Parramatta: Plenty. And very little of it is surprising. Parramatta came into 2010 overrated on the back of a three month run of good fortune and decent football. Phil Gould quite rightly noted in his column on Sunday that Parramatta bought into their own bullshit and expected to do well, relying on natural ability and flair rather than commitment, effort and grit. The results are telling. The first and major problem is Cronulla’s forward pack. They are going awful and changes simply have to be made. Young Justin Horo looks promising and Nathan Hindmarsh continues to do his thing but the rest of the pack is about as hard as a bag of marshmallows. Justin Poore is currently the bust of the year and reportedly wants out of the Eels. Cayless is doing his best to hold his spot but his legs look gone. Feleti Mateo plays such dumb football that if I was his coach I would likely be up on murder charges. Fuifui Moimoi is more worried about his hairstyles than his ability to do something at the line. Hooker has been a major issue. Matt Keating is a sound defensive player but offers no spark while Jeff Robson’s disposal is ordinary. The story in the halves is a similar one. None of Mortimer, Robson or Kris Keating seems capable of giving the side direction and a decent kicking game. Jarryd Hayne is playing like he is in the first season of a massive five year deal, his care factor seemingly zero. Joel Reddy is an idiot. Eric Grothe is hot and cold. There seems to be little communication. The Eels are not getting off their line defensively. They are lackadaisical in their go forward. The likes of Hayne and Tahu are getting no ball. Daniel Anderon turned it around last year and he may do it again but that won’t fix the underlying problem that the Eels have: they are a team of superstars but they are a long way from being a superstar team. Selfishness rules the roost out Parramatta way this year.

Ricky Stuart Gibbers On: Ricky Stuart used his article in The Sunday Telegraph to deride what he calls blogs. His position was somewhat noble: he was writing in defence of Nathan Cayless. His attempts to stifle the opinions of rugby league fans because they disagreed with his position were astounding yet utterly believable. Stuart is a totalitarian boss who seeks total control of the words, minds and actions of everybody in his sphere of influence. He went after a number of people who responded to a piece on Nathan Cayless retiring. He attacked them personally despite claiming that he doesn’t read blogs and is a “whole lot happier for it”. Well perhaps Stuart should read a few blogs and perhaps he should read the writings of a few internet scribes as it may help him get a better understanding of his failings as a coach, his tenuous position at Cronulla and the reasons why he is perceived as a discredit to the game and the club he professes to love. While there was nothing wholly offensive about his article it was the subtext that revealed so much: Stuart’s insecurities, his need to get personal when people’s opinion differs to his, his inability to think outside shades of black and white. Rugby league will be better off when Ricky Stuart is out of coaching.

Fat Little Adam Freier: I couldn’t help but chuckle at the comments of rugby player Adam Freier in his Sunday Sydney Morning Herald column Click Here when he attempted to compare rugby union with rugby league as if anybody in their right mind thinks union is anywhere near the level of contest, athletic spectacle, entertainment, cultural importance or mainstream sporting entrenchment as rugby league. Fat Little Adam Freier, an allegedly top class rugby player who would not even reach the level of the Bundaberg Red Cup in league and who has as much chance of playing NRL football as me, is attempting to rewrite history and push union’s barrow. He fails on both fronts. He says Wendell put “rugby league back on the map”. Well, Wendell and the ex-league players actually put union on the map and the rise and sharp fall of union has plenty to do with the interest created by the defection of league players to Super 14 teams. He says Lote Tuqiri is seen by some as a union player defecting to league. What fool whose understanding of history begins in 2003 would say something so dumb? He says Mark Gasnier and Sonny Bill Williams went to union for money- which they did- but then argues Timana Tahu went back to league for cash. The hypocrisy and convenience of that argument needs no further explanation. He argues that rugby union is a better sport because it doesn’t have a salary cap. Perhaps television ratings, attendance numbers and popular appeal would suggest that parity in sport is somewhat important. He talks up travel across South Africa as if it is some form of incentive to head to rugby. He says the same about a Commonwealth Games gold medal. Blah, blah, blah. Fat Little Adam Freier should really pass on the name of his acid dealer because he seems to be getting quite the hallucinations. He is entitled to his opinion but he is wrong and he is embarrassing himself with such a delusional outlook on the world.

Differential Penalty: Mat Rogers has played 183 first grade rugby league matches, 8 matches for Queensland and 11 Tests for Australia. He made his first grade debut back in 1995. He is the son of Steve Rogers, who played 13 seasons of first grade and represented Australia in 24 Test matches. Steve went on to become CEO of the Sharks. Rogers is from a rugby league family that dates back well into the early seventies. Yet when referee Jared Maxwell awarded a differential penalty against Cameron Smith for rucking in the scrum and the scores locked at 16-all, Rogers signalled to take the two and then was perplexed when he couldn’t. It defies belief that somebody of Rogers experience and background did not understand what a differential penalty was.

Storm Stitch-Up: The differential penalty wasn’t the only disgraceful decision levelled against the Melbourne Storm by the conglomerate of incompetent and, in one particular case, a seemingly vindictive official. The differential penalty was an abhorrent decision. Hooker Cameron Smith was penalised for attempting to win the ball in a scrum. Scrums may generally be regarded as an archaic remnant of days gone by but it is not illegal to attempt to win a scrum against the head. Smith did just that yet was penalised. On another occasion, the new downtown penalty was enforced for the first time this season. Melbourne, of course, were on the receiving end. Not a single downtown penalty has been blown all year (at least to my eye) yet the Storm get pulled up. No consistency. Teams have been flouting the downtown rule all year and in trial games there were penalties every which way but since the season started there was nothing until Friday night. The worst decision of the night, however, was due to referee Steven Clark. Clark called on referee Jared Maxwell to penalise the Storm for time wasting after a line dropout. Players are allowed 40 seconds. Nine says Smith took 38 seconds. Clark claims he took 41. Regardless, a penalty rarely used was plucked from nowhere in what was one of the most vindictive and absurd penalties ever blown. It came in a half where the Storm were on the wrong end of a 6-1 penalty count in what was a clear attempt by the officials to even a lopsided penalty count in the first half. The penalty came at a crucial time and was in a run of 6 straight for the Titans. It led directly to the Greg Bird try which tied the match up. The entire situation was disgraceful. Clark was again nit-picking and the on-field referees tried to even up the match. They also lacked the experience to simply ignore Clark. It was, collectively, the worst refereeing performance of the season and one which cost the better team the points.


Fun Fact #1: Under 39 matches refereed by Steven Clark, the Storm lost the penalty count 255-225.

Fun Fact #2: Under Steven Clark in 22 games outside of Melbourne, the Storm have won only 5 and lost 15 penalty counts.

Fun Fact #3: The last penalty count Melbourne won on the road under Steve Clark was in round 2 of 2002, over five seasons before Clark retired and took to the video referees booth.

Fun Fact #4: Under Craig Bellamy, Melbourne on the road when Steven Clark was refereeing did not win a penalty count in 12 matches.

Stop the Clock: While on the time-wasting drop out penalty against the Storm, it raises the obvious question once more: WHY IS THE CLOCK NOT STOPPED WHEN THE BALL IS DEAD? It makes no sense that the clock continues to run when the ball is dead. In no other sport in the world does the clock continue to tick when the ball is out of play. In AFL and soccer the clock runs on but extra time is added on at the end of each quarter or half. In sports like American football, basketball and ice hockey, the clock simply stops. The reasons are fairly simple: it provides for a fair contest with objective rulings on timing. The game has a definitive and inarguable point where the clock is switched on and off. When a free throw is taken in basketball, the clock stops. When a ball is bounced in AFL, the wasted time is added on. When the ball is kicked out in soccer or hit into the stands in hockey, the clock is stopped until play resumes. Rugby league needs to move to this to not only avoid the embarrassment of such pedantic decisions line Clark’s call to penalise Cameron Smith for time wasting but to bring an end to the difference in officiating between the beginning and end of matches along with the inherent stupidity of allowing the clock to continue when the ball has been kicked out. It is amazing that this rule has not been instituted. When the new commission takes control, this needs to be one of the first rule changes made. It is a blight on the game. Stop the damned clock. When the ball is out. When a try is called. When a penalty is lined up. When the ball goes dead. Stop the clock!

Luke O’Donnell is a Loathsome Cat: Luke O’Donnell likes to think of himself as a man and a leader, no doubt, but he is nothing more than a cheap cat who hurts his teams more than he helps them. On Saturday O’Donnell managed to drop the ball, give away four penalties and get sin-binned in the space of two minutes. It was a disgraceful showing particularly considering the Cowboys were down 16-2 and had just lost Johnathan Thurston to what looked like a season ending shoulder injury. The penalties were for dissent, more dissent, a high shot and then a swinging arm followed by a twisting headlock grapple. He was sin binned for his final high shot, a nasty swinging arm around the head of lithe fullback Beau Ryan. What a man! What a leader! The Cowboys made a comeback in the second half, losing only 23-18 and may have gotten over the top if they didn’t spend the first ten minutes of the half with only twelve men and without one of their so-called leaders. O’Donnell has hopes of playing Origin football but unless the selectors have loaded up on Queensland again then he is no hope. O’Donnell is also a free agent. No club with any sense would pay him a single dollar to play with them. O’Donnell is a bum, a cat and a perennial loser who cries poor when he is hurt by illegal play but continually plays dirty himself. Hypocrisy doesn’t begin to describe the rugby league existence of Luke O’Donnell.


Power Rankings:

Rank
Team
Record
Last Week
High
Low
1
Melbourne
4-1
1
1
2
2
Dragons
4-1
2
1

2

3
Wests Tigers
4-1
3
3
6
4
Manly
3-2
4
4
10
5
Gold Coast
4-1
5
4
5
6
Souths
3-2
7
6
16
7
Warriors
3-2
8
7
13
8
Penrith
3-2
10
8
11
9
Roosters
3-2
6
4
9
10
Canterbury
1-4
9
5
10
11
Canberra
2-3
14
11
15
12
Cowboys
2-3
12
12
14
13
Parramatta
1-4
11
3
13
14
Newcastle
1-4
13
10
14
15
Brisbane
1-4
15
7
15
16
Cronulla
1-4
16
13
16

 

Thanks for Listening Kevin Moore: The Bulldogs may have suffered another humiliating loss on Saturday night but at least Kevin Moore was paying attention to the wise words of your author. Blake Green was nowhere to be seen while Ben Roberts got dragged after another ordinary performance. Ben Barba will almost surely start this week. While the Dogs have been awful this year and the fallout from Ben Hannant’s disgraceful grab for more cash that has left the Bulldogs team divided, I am pleased that Kevin Moore signed on for two more seasons. He has done a fine job and will hopefully overcome this period of internal turmoil.

Rumours of the Week: There is going to be plenty more fallout from the Scott Prince/Gold Coast Titans salary cap saga despite the NRL clearing the team of any impropriety. The Titans could lose quite a number of competition points if found guilty. If the NRL is consistent, that number of points will be 37. If the situation remains as it is then Scott Prince will likely sue the builder at the centre of allegations. The potentially season ending shoulder injury to Johnathan Thurston may actually work in the NRL’s favour with Thurston unlikely to want to leave on such a sour note. He is believed to be in favour of re-signing with the Cowboys, at any rate. LATE NOTE: Thurston’s injury is better than first thought and he will be out for no longer than a month. The Broncos have virtually sealed the deal with Wakefield to bring Shane Tronc to the club. Tronc will be available for selection in round 7. Ricky Stuart will be out of a job by the end of the season. The new administration is making all the moves and sounds to suggest a new man will be in charge of the Sharks in 2011. The looming retirement of Trent Barrett will open the door for Nathan Brown to be that player. Josh McCrone was set to be given one more week at halfback before the trigger was pulled and Adam Mogg put in the seven jersey but McCrone’s top effort against the Eels has held off the wolves. Warriors officials are believed to be extremely angry that winger Manu Vatuvei was rushed back into the team whilst clearly still carrying an injury. The blame is being laid on Ivan Cleary. Vatuvei re-injured his hamstring and could be gone for at least a month.

The Willie M Medal Votes: Paying respects to those who disrespect quality rugby league, honouring the dishonourable, poking fun at the jokers of the NRL…

Gold Coast-Melbourne 3-Adam Blair (Mlb)
  2-Preston Campbell (GC)
  3-Sam Tagatese (GC)
Dragons-Brisbane 3-Peter Wallace (Brs)
  2-Scott Anderson
  1-Ashton Sims (Brs)
Souths-Newcastle 3-Richard Fa'aoso (New)
  2-Jarrod Mullen (New)
  1-Cory Paterson (New)
Bulldogs-Warriors 3-Bryson Goodwin (Bul)
  2-Luke Patten (Bul)
  1-Martin Taupau (Bul)
Cowboys-Tigers 3-Luke O'Donnell (Cow)
  2-Andrew Fifita (Tig)
  1-Ray Thompson (Cow)
Manly-Sharks 3-Taulima Tautai (Cro)
  2-Nathan Stapleton (Cro)
  1-Albert Kelly (Cro)
Penrith-Roosters 3-Braith Anasta (Roo)
  2-James Aubusson (Roo)
  1-Todd Carney (Roo)
Parramatta-Canberra 3-Joel Reddy (Par)
  2-Justin Poore (Par)
  1-Jarryd Hayne (Par)
Leaderboard 7-Chris Sandow (Sou)
  6-Eric Grothe(Par),Albert Kelly(Cro),Peter Wallace(Brs),Ben Roberts(Bul),Steve Simpson(New)
  5-Braith Anasta(Roo),Denan Kemp(Brs),Josh McCrone(Can), Michael Robertson(Man)

 

Thanks to the Bossman for doing the Manly-Sharks match, Kendall for attempting to get involved from the United States and Joel Reddy for making Monday night’s match so very, very easy to judge.

Recognising a Rugby League Warrior: It is a rare occasion indeed whenever I am effusive in my praise for an M.P on the left of the political spectrum, be it in Australia or abroad, but in the case of David Hinchliffe, British M.P for Wakefield from 1987 to 2005, I have little choice. Few Parliamentarians have ever done more for the sport. Hinchliffe used his time in parliament to push the barrow of rugby league. He sought to end the discrimination afforded rugby league players. He sought to have rugby league receive the same respect when it came to the Honours list as other British sports. He argued strongly against rugby union in a dignified and intelligent manner, as seen in this fine article in the Independent Click Here in 2004 where he eloquently responded to a silly claim by a fellow M.P that union was a superior code. He notes “obese front-rowers and line-out giraffes- would be irrelevant spare parts in the much faster and more fluent handling code.” The point of difference between the two codes is “league’s main restart mechanism demands movement and continuity while union’s frequently don’t”. As an M.P he fought hard for league’s cause. In his first year he founded and was the first secretary of the All Party Rugby League Parliamentary Group. He demanded to know when Maggie Thatcher would be attending a league game during question time in his first term. He wrote extensively on rugby league and the institutional discrimination the sport has suffered from in England. In 1994, Hinchliffe introduced and had passed the Sports Discrimination Bill to prevent individual cases of discrimination against those involved in rugby league. He fought to have rugby league introduced as a compulsory part of PE programs. He helped break down barriers preventing rugby league being played within the Armed Forces. He fought to have rugby league players considered for the English Commonwealth Games rugby union sevens team, a somewhat visionary move considering the recent news that rugby league school Keebra Park recently won the ARU rugby sevens competition despite not knowing the rules. Perhaps England would have won a medal in 1998 had they listened to the Member for Wakefield. Hinchliffe is a rugby league hero and Australia would have done well to have someone so committed to the game holding a seat in Federal Parliament. David Hinchliffe, rugby league fans salute you.

Exchanges with Fisk:

Tedeschi: “Jesus, ye Gods Fisk, what the hell is going on at Canterbury?”

Fisk (well, his voicemail anyway): “Matthew is currently in transit to South America and will be uncontactable until he gets through customs.”


Coaching Stocks:


Craig Bellamy [5] Amazing effort to have the Storm going so well. Got stitched up on Friday by incompetent refs.

Wayne Bennett [5] The Dragons did all that was expected against Broncos. Injuries have the vinegar on them now.

Tim Sheens [4] Tigers should have put Cowboys to the sword. Got the points but not a great performance.

John Cartwright [4] Few teams have the Storm’s measure but Cartwright seems to be able to get it done.

Kevin Moore [3] Re-signed but has no answers for the Dogs woes early on. Needs to make some hard calls.

Des Hasler [3] Did a job on the Sharks and is now riding to the top without best back.

Brian Smith [2.5] Roosters are too inconsistent. Not sure he really knows what to do with his pack.

Matt Elliott [2.5] Panthers on a roll. This happens though. He needs to get them doing this week in, week out.

John Lang [2] Pleasing to see him get his team going. He is a very good coach. Got a big rap from players.

Rick Stone [1] Knights not showing up for 80 mins. Has excuses with injuries though.

David Furner [1] Stuck with McCrone and paid dividends Monday. Away win huge. Let them use the ball.

Neil Henry [1] Cowboys tried hard against Tigers under trying circumstances. Good comeback.

Daniel Anderson [0.5] Seems to have few answers to problems at present. Recruitment also being questioned.

Ivan Cleary [0.5] Can’t question results. Huge win at ANZ. Knives were out but win with so many injuries is huge.

Ricky Stuart [-1.5] Sharks were pitiful. Gave up which is unusual. Should struggle to find another job.

Ivan Henjak [-2] Seems delusional at press conferences. Is he even watching the Broncos play?


Game of the Year Nomination, Round 5: Canterbury-New Zealand, 24-30. Not a great weekend of footy with the round destined to be quickly forgotten. The best game was probably the Bulldogs-Warriors clash at ANZ. There were plenty of outstanding tries, lots of end-to-end footy and a cracking finish. The match wasn’t overly enjoyable if you were a Bulldogs fan who enjoys his footy hard but it was probably a sight for those who couldn’t give a damn about the outcome.

Obscure Score of the Week: Hunslet 46- Swinton 12. The Hunslet Hawks went top of the Co-Operative Championship 1 table with a big win over the lowly Swinton Lions, who are struggling to make an impact this season. The Lions, winners of three Challenge Cups and once a leading club, have fallen on hard times over the last half century but league still dominates the small Lancashire town.

Getting Behind the Queanbeyan Kangaroos: This year From The Couch has decided to throw our considerable weight behind a country footy team. Selecting one was difficult. After much soul-searching, many beers and a good deal of meditation over Rugby League Review, the team we will be following is the Queanbeyan Kangaroos. There were plenty of teams considered. The Young Cherrypickers. The Maitland Pumpkin Pickers. The Orange CYMS. The Temora Dragons. This year it will be the Kangaroos, however, with the Group 8 team competing for the Canberra Raiders Cup set to get the full From The Couch endorsement.

Historically, the Kangaroos have always played second fiddle to those damned Queanbeyan Blues in the battle for the affection of Queanbeyanites but not this year and not with the Couch behind them.

The Roos certainly started the season well last weekend with the Aaron Gorrell captain-coached team downing the 2009 preliminary finalist Woden Rams 36-20. Gorrell was, by all reports, brilliant in the seven jersey, setting up plenty of tries while slotting 6 from 6. A double to Mitch Connolly and a huge effort from backrower Matt Lewis also has the Roos excited about a premiership tilt in 2010. Gorrell supposedly cost a razzling from the Woden crowd but that isn’t surprising as anyone who lives south of Manuka tends to be regarded as an uneducated redneck by most.

Beard Watch: The new season of Underbelly bought a renewed interest in the full bodied moustache and sent me on a nostalgia kick right back to 1989 and the legendary moustachioed gentleman of that famous season 21 years back: Cliff Lyons, Les Davidson, Brett Kenny, Gary Wurth, Gary Belcher, Sam Stewart, Wally Lewis, David Trewhella, Terry Lamb, Trevor Cogger, Peter Gill, Michael Bolt, Ellery Hanley. The list goes on. What a wonderful year for the moustache was 1989.

Stats from the Penguin: Sadly and somewhat uncharacteristically, Ben Pomeroy played reasonably well in attack against Manly. He made a pretty good break though in all fairness the only player he pushed off was Michael Robertson. Defensively, however, he was a liability once again.

12 Runs for 128 metres, 1 line break, 4 tackle breaks, 4 offloads, 16 tackles, 6 missed

Fantasy Team of the Week:

1. Darius Boyd (Dra)
2. Anthony Quinn (Mlb)
3. Jamie Lyon (Man)
4. Chris Lawrence (Tig)
5. Brett Morris (Dra)
6. Greg Bird (GC)
7. James Maloney (War)
13. Shaun Fensom (Can)
12. Anthony Laffranchi (GC)
11. Matt Gillet (Brs)
10. Aiden Tolman (Mlb)
9. Issac Luke (Sou)
8. Sam Rapira (War)


Waiver Wire Advice: Greg Inglis has had enough opportunities. Ditch him. Any centre worth $200k who can’t get over the line, ranks 49th in centres/wings and is a touch on the fat side is not worth the hassle. Find a cheap player, somebody along the lines of Mitch Aubusson at $190k or Luke MacDougall at $147k, and then spend up on forwards. Upgrade to an Isaac Luke or a Robbie Farah up front or get another gun backrower. Those with Johnathan Thurston can probably dump him even though he is only out for a while. The injury looks like something that could cause trouble as the season wears on. Get Trent Hodkinson for $134k and then use the extra $200k to upgrade your pack or find a backrower eligible for the centre. Of those on the rise, Penrith duo Lachlan Coote and Tim Grant appear good value at $175k and $187k respectively are good value cheap options.

Lazy Long Bay Days, Part 6: The old prison librarian, originally imprisoned for the manslaughter of a police officer way back in the 70’s, a charge he has always denied, drops by Danny’s cell. “How’s it Danny?” “Awright, Boss” replied Wicks. “You are finding yourself some bad company in here, son. And you have left your boy Chris to fend for himself.” Wicks stares at his feet. “Here, read this” said the librarian, throwing “Of Mice and Men” on his bed and walking out of his cell.

Watch It: Anybody who has ever played Fantasy Football needs to do something immediately: download series one of The League

Click Here immediately. Do It. Now. Just in case my credits in the coat-tugging department aren't high enough then check out these advertisements that should sum it up. There is Pete – Click Here, the three-time league champ. Ruxin Click Here the obsessive downcast who feels he never gets the breaks Kevin Click Here the league commissioner, whose (very hot) wife runs his team. Taco Click Here
the stoner who attempts to pick up a Canadian Football League running back in the draft. And Andre Click Here , the douche who doesn't quite follow football closely enough ("Tim Brady, bitches"). As an added bonus, here is Taco singing "The Birthday Song" Click Here , a highlight of the first episode though perhaps not quite as amusing as having the draft order determined by children in a sack race. This may be the best show ever made and though I am prone to hyperbole I am going to say that this time I am on the money.

Correspondence Corner: I received an email from a Matt Moore asking what I have heard about the Bulldogs current situation and whether or not I think they will make the finals. Well Matt, here is how I see it. Like the first season of Seinfeld, this could go either way. The team could get it together and achieve great things. Or they could let the division created by Ben Hannant’s deceitful grab for cash let the season turn to a gooey mess akin to that left after an Annabel Chong attempt at the record books. There is no doubt that Hannant is at the root of the club’s problems. Senior players are disappointed that he has destabilised a team on the verge of a premiership run, particularly only one year into a three year deal. They are also perturbed at Hannant using the excuse of home sickness. Those senior players have to get over it, however, if they are going to make a finals run. Canterbury is a proud club but at the moment many are embarrassing the jersey with a lack of effort and application. That has to stop. Hannant is going nowhere and won’t be until at least the end of the year. I think the Bulldogs can fight back and make the finals but I will be more confident when I start to see them play some tough football. Roberts has to go, Bryson Goodwin is treading on thin ice and the stars of 2009, Kimmorley and Ennis, need to offer the team more direction and spark. Failure to do so and 2010 will go down as one of the great missed opportunities ever at Canterbury.

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